this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 120 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Your move, The Satanic Temple.

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago
[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago

Join and donate if you aren't already a member.

Start recruiting new Satanists in front of your most pearl-clutching coworkers

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 32 points 4 days ago

Hail satan, and have a lovely day, madame.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Unfortunately Trump's parents didn't re-think aborting Trump.

[–] Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

It’s never too late for a retroactive abortion.

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's time you government drones learned about Sithrak, the angry insane god who tortures everyone forever no matter who you are or what you did.

[–] teft@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago

Hail Sithrak! Long may they reign!

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago

Corporate managers must be his acolytes!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago

"Your desires to be seen as a good Christian seem to be causing you misery. I must encourage you to abandon them for the 8 fold path"

[–] rauls5@lemmy.zip 24 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] redsand@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 days ago

The church of Jeffrey Epstein recognizes Donald John Trump as its new leader.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yeah, we all think your jokes about your made up religion are funny... But keep in mind, this will not apply to all religions, nor was it ever meant to.

I mean, you have to realize that by now, right?

[–] hark@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I rethought the religion I was born into and I left it.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Well, lets talk about that, at work, on the taxpayers dime. I'll set us up an 8 hour meeting to go over that on monday. We can continue to meet on this until we get it all sorted.

[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Pastafarianism is going to grow.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

Hail our Holy Noodle

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Also when the federal employee is Muslim? Or is it just Christians and Mormons who will be allowed to do so?

[–] DannyMac@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago

Let me introduce you to my new religion: Epsteinism. It's mainly not letting anyone forget about this ever no matter what shit gets kicked up to distract us from the fact that Trump is on the list.

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

I think he should rethink not releasing the Epstein files

[–] shiroininja@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

By the nine! The emperor has brought back Talos worship!

[–] SheeEttin@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

We must all labor for Roko's Basilisk.

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago

I’m going to claim some stand your ground shit If’n someone wants to”share”with me.

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Go to hell.

[–] ApeNo1@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"