Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
We are a women's only community, so please no male comments.
Edit: thanks all for reporting the hostile remarks! You really are an amazing group of people. Really appreciate how positive so many men have been as well. I see you all and value you ❤️
"White men"(sexist and/or racist old dicksack) need to "walk on eggshells"(can no longer say racist and/or sexist thing in a corporate environment).
I hate that I remember how to speak Fox News.
Yep it's not a nice language to speak
Only bigots are afraid to "speak freely" at work. I speak freely all the time, and at work, you just have to not be marginalising or belittling or degrading someone else while doing it.
I don't think that's even true anymore. After winning the culture war, the bigots definitely seem more embolded to speak freely, at work or otherwise. Despite this, many to this day will express feeling like the powers that be are censoring them even though their political party dominates nearly every aspect of politics and public life.
I think this is an excellent point. Any reasonable person will accept a challenge if they unknowingly say or do anything inappropriate. Which they're unlikely to do
To paraphrase a quote I really like:
"I say all the vile, racist and sexist shit I want to say, which is none. How much do you want to say?"
Jesus christ. I saw a thread in some other community the other day about Women's Stuff and the men wah-wah-wahing like little babies about this sub were ridiculous. Same thing - in that thread some man was saying that when he replied to threads here he felt like he had to walk on eggshells.
You guys, all we want is one tiny corner of lemmy to ourselves. Somewhere we can talk about things that uniquely affect us -or- perhaps they affect men too but they affect us in a unique way due to our gender. And many men are cool with this concept and generally supportive (and a sincere thank you to those guys!) but a significant number are butthurt little babies about being unwanted here.
Those are the same butthurt little babies in the Fox News poll. If you can't keep it civil in the workplace I don't know what to tell you other than you're a low-quality human. Have some fucking empathy.
Edit: here's the post I was talking about.
I looked at that thread earlier and there were so many disgusting comments in there. It reminds me of why I left reddit a few years ago. The API changes and discussion of alternate places led me here, but I left primarily because of all the rampant misogyny, transphobia, racism, etc and the mods and admins who refused to do anything about it.
I really enjoy Blåhaj and the mods and admins here who actually care about kicking out bigots.
Also feel like this is very relevant here:
99.44% of Lemmy is dominated by men.
One group out of thousand (maybe even tens of thousands by now!) asks men not to post.
The more emotional gender melts down.
It's the circle of life.
Yep! They have the whole rest of lemmy to hang out in we're literally ONE group. I saw the thread but I was heartened to see how many men were standing up for is, plus a man warned me about the thread so we could protect ourselves. There were so many men there moaning that they couldn't come here and tell us we were wrong.
Walking on eggshells = not able to say dumb racist shit without getting called out.
Tbh white women are equally as capable of saying racists shit, and work or not
So they think me demanding that they stop talking about my body in sexual terms is walking on eggshells. Entitled fucks.
This sort of shit is why when my husband offered, I went with stay at home housewife. The pay might be only in love and caring but at least no one feels entitled to my emotional labor or my physical labor or my mind or my body or my sexuality.
This reminds me of a former colleague. He'd always complain that he can't say anything at work anymore and humor is forbidden. Examples were: Our suppliers don't issue bikini model calenders anymore, even though that was some harmless fun! Also hanging up bikini model calenders is not allowed anymore! It was just some harmless fun. And back then female colleagues didn't complain when you told them to make coffee for you. They are so uncooperative and easily offended nowadays!
"You can't even tell a coworker that you think she's cute any more!"
My brother in Christ, the new intern doesn't need comments on her looks from someone who is (1) higher than she is on the org chart and (2) older than her actual father. Just stop.
If you wouldn't say it to a male coworker, don't say it to any coworker. It's not that hard.
walking on eggshells
Translation: considering who you're speaking to when you speak to them.
Even 8 year olds know that you should think before speaking.
I work with a bunch of white men, and I'm definitely the one who has to walk on eggshells.
That's excellently put. Many times I've had to be careful not to say anything feminist/inclusive around certain white men cos it's professionally or even physically dangerous
If you're a white man who feels like they have to walk on eggshells at work because of that white male identity, you're pretty fragile. I'd hate to see you have to navigate the same social norms that non white males have to. You'd fucking crumble.
White men around my job site freely walk around with MAGA hats. The only eggshells I see are beneath those who would talk to them.
Can't spew hate anymore without someone going 'that's not nice'. Political corectness gone mad.
Im a man.
No we dont walk on eggshells. I walk on shoes.
Just one question to you women here. If you are trying to understand how men feel, wouldnt it be better to allow us in the community?
I dont think you will gain much insights talking about us rather than to us.
Thanks so much for your interest in our community! Don't worry we have the rest of lemmy to hear how men feel. We are women only so I've had to ban you, and wish you all the best ❤️
I like how this guy thought we don't know exactly how men feel or that we need any additional insight on top of just being bombarded with their opinions and world views at every possible angle.
Seriously, they must have no idea how many men use their partner are their sole emotional outlet.
We hear everything. Pillow talk gets pretty deep, possibly because a lot of men feel a comfort from a loving partner that they receive nowhere else. We hear their worries, their traumas, their insecurities. We understand and sympathize with men's issues a lot more than men seem to realize.
Also, to the male lurkers: thank you for not commenting. I know it's gotta be hard to have to hold back, but we appreciate it.
Everyone knows how men feel, there is no shortage of them voicing that at every opportunity, regardless if it having any validity.
Every time I start to feel bad for these men, I remember every time I was either victimized or made to feel uncomfortable on purpose and I no longer feel bad about it. I think there is an aspect of me that is able to sympathize, but a bigger part is fucking bitter and wants to see them get a taste of their own medicine.
Note to the men reading this, you can upvote comments you agree with freely.
Remember, the comment section on every internet post about feminism only goes to show, um, how provocative this kind of rhetoric is.
Ironically here white men are banned for speaking freely.
Maybe if you all stopped brigading, taking over, and drowning out all the womens' voices on a womens' community, that rule wouldn't need to exist. This isn't Reddit where it's more of an even split.
You're not speaking freely, dippy. You're violating community rules
You gonna cry? Are you just so fucking persecuted that you have to be a loudmouth disappointing little crybaby fuck about it? This is what the holocaust felt like, huh, little baby?
Can't even be a hateful bigot at work
You wouldn't be walking on eggshells if you didn't want to say shit that'd upset people
I wish the solution to racism wasn't just racism towards the people doing it. The only way to stop racism is to stop being racist.
This isn't racist. This statement isn't about decent human beings. If someone is offended by it, maybe they need to be less ignorant or maybe they aren't decent.
When a man makes fun of a woman for something seemingly inherent to a woman, the response isn't to attack all men. That's being sexist to defeat sexism.
When a white person makes fun of a black person for something seemingly inherent to black people, the response shouldn't be to attack all white people. That's being racist to defeat racism.
It is a flawed response as it will always be as equally incorrect as the initial remark. It doesn't fix the thing you take issue with, it just further deepens the line between groups.
White dude here, in the US, currently sitting at work. (Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request, but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.)
And I’m walking on fuckin’ sunshine over here because I’m nice to people and I got myself out of the Conservatism Spectrum Disorder shit that I was born into.
It’s funny how things work…
Being white? Fine. I’ve never been attacked for it, even by people who have very much the opposite of white privilege.
Being a dude? Also working out well. I have a hell of a sex drive for a middle aged dad-bodder, and of course there are attractive people at work, yet I have managed to not stalk or grab or attack or cat call anybody. (the exception for some of those is my wife, in a good way)
There are a whole lot of bad men out there. Being a good one requires recognizing that. If you’re already resisting that concept then you’re already way off track because we’re talking about half of humanity.
And if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, yeah maybe it’s some other toxic person’s fault, but make sure to take a long hard look at yourself too. That feeling of self-consciousness or embarrassment might be you starting to get it.
Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request
"Request?" Dude. Read the rules.
I should have sent a PM, but I want others to see this since you're getting upvoted, and the mods here are courteous: do not treat a community's #1 rule as a 'request' just because that rule says 'women only'. I would never, ever comment here other than to point out the hypocrisy of such a violation.
The rules are printed many times, very visibly and unambiguously.
You want to discuss? You can make a post in some other community, linking this one.
...but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.
Sent from an 'angry guy lurking': Your comment, disrespecting a space like this, makes me feel far worse. You make me feel self-consciousness, like I'm walking on eggshells.
(Apologies, mods, please community ban me if that seems warranted).