So what do you think happens to all the shit you leave around? Someone's gotta take it.
this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Sure. But it's not you.
Wait... is... is it you?
I once told a version of this at a stand up open mic, it did very well.
English is the shit we keep taking
"I'm going to take a shit."
"Well don't take any of mine! I'm saving those for later!"
if its BROWN let it mellow.
It's like having a nice lunch. Take can often just mean do like 'take a break'
Shit as a verb, not a noun.
That's the bizarre thing about English. Maybe native English speakers don't really think about it, but as someone looking at this mess from the outside, I can tell you that it's really nice when verbs and nouns are distinct.
I don't give a shit
We don't have to take any shit from you here.
Take a shit, leave a shit
Does your shit have glitter in it?
Same here. I just abandon it instead of taking, giving or whatever it is that some people do.
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Chinese people say pull a poop, and I think that's beautiful.
Oooo new debate: push vs pull
Reminds me of the ASL sign for it
Take ~= have ~= do
Take a break == have a break, but a break isn't a tangible thing, so this is shorthand for "do the actions required to constitute a break"
I don't want to have a shit, either -- I'm trying to get rid of the dang thing!
Then this is one verb you should definitely not noun
I see that.. but I would argue breaks can be given. Therefore one can take a break.
Break being almost a non continuation of something. There are two beings involved. And as you point out, you can also perform action consume a break.
Taking a poop is slightly different because one is giving an offering. Although one can consume poop too but I guess it's a different frame.
Tons of people give a shit tho
Correct, but a different context than OP's framing.
Some leave a shit, some give a shit. Can you give a shit by giving a shit? Hmm. Possible maybe under special circumstances.
Don't mind me, these are poopy thoughts.
I'm just giving you shit
You've never "taken a break" or "taken a time-out" or "taken a nap"?
It's not like "taking a X" is a foreign construct.
I take a break, a nap and a time out because Inwant those things for myself. I don't want shit.
Thanks Seinfeld
Seinfeld isn't that funny. This was a Carlin joke.
I'm just going to pray this was sarcastic
Wait... you mean I don't have to shove my dog's shit up my ass?!
That is what every dog owner should be forced to do who doesn't clean up their dog's shit.
Hey im leaving a shit right now!
Take a shit...break?
I gift a riverboat to the otter people in exchange for splashy kisses on my cheeks.
Give birth to otters
Growing a smelly tail
Etc
Hanging a rat
Taking the Cleaveland Browns to the Superbowl.
Dropping the kids off at the pool.
I run into the stall, push the people off the toilet and jam it into my own ass while it’s still warm.
This comment, officer, this one right here.
Today, in things that make more sense if you're a Red Dwarf fan ... https://youtube.com/watch?v=36xSrKhCojw
I came here to post exactly this. Well done
Beavis, referring to Andy Rooney on Sixty Minutes: “and another thing. Why do they call it taking a dump? I’m not taking it anywhere!”
Found the clip: https://youtu.be/Wf9QkrC04d8
I'm going to have a shit. Which doesn't sound quite right either when you look at it that way.
At least in New Zealand that usage would not be that uncommon
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