Thank god for censoring "stole". I don't know what I would have done had I been able to read that word.
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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Better close your fuckin eyes then 'cause I don't play this game
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously stealing. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men stealing together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
This is the plot of Ocean's 69.
Due to your comment, you have received a note with positive connotations in my client.
I read the word st*le in your comment and was forced to take candy from a baby.
Please, censor your comment to protect the innocent.
The advertiser overlords would have to rain death from above.
"When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure."
- Goodhart's law
This is 100% correct in the IT world. I have a split IT dept due to mergers (its a whole thing, people are fighting to not give up knowlage on systems so their position looks useful to mgmt... its fucked) and the other side of the fence are the most useless window-lickers ever because their tier 1 just closes things almost at random to bump their numbers up.
It's a huge problem in any industry. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wells_Fargo_cross-selling_scandal
window-lickers
I have no idea what this phrase means but immediately knew who you were talking about.
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Oh man, my workplace switched to an external IT support company, InfoSys, which pulls basically the same scam.
When you open a ticket, they immediately write something underneath – typically a question that's already answered in the ticket – because it shows up in their statistics as low response times.
Then they'll do shit like split up your ticket into three new tickets for no good reason.
And if you happen to be on holiday for a few days and therefore don't respond, they'll close your tickets due to inactivity.
Then you have to open a new ticket and link to the old ticket, if you can still access it, and then re-answer the same braindead questions again.
Basically, if it's something you can solve yourself, you should, because it will take more time to communicate back and forth with InfoSys.
When you open a ticket, they immediately write something underneath – typically a question that's already answered in the ticket – because it shows up in their statistics as low response times.
Fuck! So THAT'S why! I had wondered why the fuck companies would quickly restate my problem "just to confirm" and then take several days to respond after that 🤦🤬
I work in IT and in similar systems, the reason from my perspective to do this is when a ticket comes in a timer will start ticking. Whenever the ball isn't in our court that timer is cancelled. If i set status "pending user" and throw a dumb question it is paused. If more than 10% or whatever amount was agreed on when the contract was signed our company has to pay for not living up to expectations.
There's a lot of rule bending to make this work in our favour.
Of course different providers will use different metrics like how long before the ticket was handled etc.
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InfoSys
Thanks for the name. Though in this case it's more the pattern you should watch out for.
Yeah, I think, it's important to name and shame, because they actively avoid providing the service that they advertise, but I do also expect this to be a common pattern in the industry. If you actually solved problems and did so permanently, you'd be out of business very quickly. External support providers have an inherent interest for things to work as badly as possible, so long as it does not get their contract cancelled.
If you actually solved problems and did so permanently, you’d be out of business very quickly.
Naw, PEBKAC and ID10T issues provide an unlimited supply of tickets. Support is a gravy train even when done effectively.
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We're truly fucked as a society if the word "stole" offends/triggers/shocks anyone.
as a thief, I am offended. btw I'm suing you because your transgender flag in your bedroom triggered my PTSD when I was "re-appropriating" it.
Well I'm counter suing because when I got served with your lawsuit, it gave me the nastiest papercut!
It offends advertisers. To be honest I would be really interested in seeing if anyone has actually studied if any of this shit even does anything. Like it seems like complete nonsense that seeing a coca cola ad next to a post about theft would make someone less likely to buy coke in the future but we are currently ruining society based on this premise.
I do get tired of every piece of every thing we produce in any fashion being something to monetize somehow for ad revenue.
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Any system that can be gamed, will be gamed.
Corporate KPIs don't even need to be that perverse. A slight misalignment causes massive inefficiencies.
KPIs and goodhart's law ❤️
The real question is: how did the receptionist file the ticket?
On screen keyboard would be my bet. Another few possibilities I can think of would be on their phone, or even in person.
Another pc in the building? Asking a colleague? There's 100s of options really..
"Hey ! Isn't that my keyboard ?!"
Companies probably tend to buy identical (and often shitty) keyboards in bulk for everyone not in middle management and above 🤷
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IT,
Thank you for replying to my ticket. Unfortunately, the key word in your recommendation appears to be censored. Could you take a look at the safety filter and try again?
- Peter
At first I was reading bone structure and was wondering how that would work
Some sort of super hero who gets stronger every time they solve an it issue?
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Power corrupts, IT management corrupts absolutely.
Does anybody else’s company do this with laptops? You tell them something doesn’t work so they take it and just give you someone else’s that had an issue they didn’t fix?
Um no... I work for a normal organization that has a financing deal for laptops and they don't give a shit how many we go through as long as it's not the contracts upper limit. Honestly I wonder where all these laptops go at the end of their 3 year term...
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An anecdote tells of the British government's bounty on dead Indian cobras giving locals the perverse incentive to start breeding the snakes, to be able to kill more of them
You don't need to unplug a printer for someone to need help with it:
Smartest IT guy.
Not IT Professional. IT Guy.
Big difference. My dumb ass could be an IT guy. I can fix printers and replace peripherals. I can't troubleshoot a database. I am not an IT Professional.
Hey you created my job.
User privledges, only troubleshooting and robbing Peter to pay Paul with stolen peripherals
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I kind of hate this idea of a "Chad" and how we're supposed to be this muscle bound meathead in this image
Also fuck Twitter and fuck censoring words.
Does the company also happen to have a cobra problem?
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