Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
If I'm a medical student (soon to be physician), am I really just stuck with Wizard? I do a lot of emergency medicine stuff and CPR is straight up necromancy, but I don't recall necromancer being a class. (it has been a hot minute since I've gotten to play D&D)
Edit: I'm completely braindead outside of medicine these days. Necromancer is a Wizard subclass. Time to go find a fancy hat I suppose.
I can multiclass the shit out of this.
yeah i hit all of these except two
Stupid DM has eyes in the back of his head and thighs like steel!
Also buns of aluminium. It's a known problem
I'm so curious which two.
that would be telling, wouldn't it
👀👀👀
Old Party DM: "God damnit, everyone's just playing wizards. We need to mix it up!"
New Party DM: "FUCK!"
I love how 1E this idea feels.
Guess I'm just playing as Random Villager #12. 😮💨
No. you're Crewman #6.
As a software dev with no college degree, it feels weird to not fit into the wizard category because of a technicality. >.>
If you get a corporate job, you can be a code warlock!
Would not eating meat count for Druid? 🤔
YMMV.
Incidentally, as part of the Kingmaker chronicle, my DM actually introduced a race of cannibal elves who explicitly refused to eat vegetation as they considered plants sacred.
Steal the DMs dice while the guy who wants to be a fighter kicks his ass.
I'm going to blackjack my DM with the rules book and take his dice. If I wail on a guitar after (play, not play proficiently), can I start with three classes?
I would be like 5 of these, so I would be multiclassed beyond usefulness. Come to think of it that is a pretty accurate representation...
I’m just multiclassed beyond usefulness.
Is my new go-to excuse.
I wonder how many groups would ever have a barbarian. A person with a temper that I ever see basically makes it to my 'don't-wanna-be-around' list.
Depends on how they express the anger and who else is in the group, I suppose. One of my friends gets angry at games quite easily, but he doesn't take it out on anyone else and can accept a ribbing from the rest of us about it, so while it's a little annoying it doesn't ruin the time spent with him
"Play an Instrument"
RAW v RAI
I can play any and every instrument, badly. Rules never said play well.
Play the music from tape while miming on the instrument. Surely, acting falls within the scope of bardic abilities!
Or just do some form of oration (rousing speeches, telling jokes, rapping ...). Bards don't have to play an instrument, and using your voice for your bardic performance is way more practical than bringing some instrument on the road.
Could you be a sorcerer if you're related to the DM?
Depends on if it's a bloodline relationship.
Handholding types get to be warlocks or clerics
“It’s absurd, we have a play group of 20 and they are ALL WARLOCKS.”
“My patron is Geoffrey d’Bezos, an arch fiend!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP RAYMOND!”
Would bard-warlock multiclass just be that one Bo Burnham song about Jeffrey Bezos?
I can literally do all of these:
Artificer - I fix things in my house, and was on a robotics team in highschool.
Barbarian (only technically, I don't get explosively mad anymore).
Bard - Piano
Cleric - Muslim
Druid - Have ecology degree
Fighter - Probably
Monk - Fencing and Judo (in the past but looking to do this again)
Paladin - Conservation
Ranger - Nerf or nothing
Rogue - Jury is still out on that, but I startle everyone
Sorcerer - My dad's first computer, the only stable Windows Me machine.
Warlock - Big research university
Wizard - See druid
Hell yes, Abserd-style multiclass incoming.
All wizards parties, all the time...
This is the exact reason I learned to play the ukulele
I don't know any instruments (yet), but I can bring a vuvuzela and learn real quick during the next session
Hmm, some of these work. My DM does enjoy that good grass so there are some sessions where I could steal his entire box of dice without him noticing. Rogue it is, then!
I feel like this is too general. I'd want to customize based on specific IRL traits or jobs or hobbies.
You feed and befriend crows? Druid with animal skills focus.
You're some kind of a carpenter, engineer, craftsman? Artificer.
Phlebotomist's assistant? Vampire thrall backstory.
Retail salesperson? Bard with psychic damage skills.
Live in a basement? Homebrew troll obviously.
Software and coding? Sounds like arcane languages and warlock pacts to me.
I don't know how a GPA would translate from american to the rest if the world.
First you have to subtract 32 freedom units, then divide by 1.8 bald eagles.
Ehhh I think we can happily just swap it out for "good grades and haven't left education early"
I'm just glad it's not gpa AND a degree.
Though it's an engineering degree, and I'd be an artificer.
If FOSS counts, there's going to be a ton of Paladins in this party.
Gonna have a lot of warlocks.
I'm a warlock wizard multi class : /
I could be an Artificer, Warlock or Ranger.
Industrial mechanic, working for the government, have passed proficiency tests for weapons handling in the CAF.