this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2025
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Apparently, I've got spondylolisthesis, meaning that a disk in my spine has slipped out of place (to a rather extensive degree, according to my doctor; it was a relief, at least, to have a professional tell me I wasn't just being pathetic).

It fucking sucks. I'm laying in my bed now and I cannot describe to you the ways my back pieces currently feel like they are moving, except to say that the sensation is pervasive and unpleasant. Before I went to the doctor, I spent eleven days barely able to stand. I only left my bed to use the restroom and even that was an iffy prospect.

It's unclear if this makes it better or worse, but the most likely cause for this that has been put forth so far is hilarious ... And embarrassing.

Anyway, I've been enjoying this debilitating situation for a few months now and the next opportunity to potentially fix it is thirteen days from now. I wish it were today.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My wife has this among other things and is a big reason for her medical issues. Its been grade 1 and 2 at times and she says she can slip it somewhat back with this thing she has called newbacks. She can be out of bed but will increasingly be worse often depending on the amount of time. One hour and she will do fine but as it goes from there and if she is out for an extended period she will be down for days. Its somewhat dependent on being able to switch between standing and sitting and how good the seat is (the captains chairs in our minivan is about as best as she gets support wise compared to most chairs at places). Back when it was a one we could go to dinner or a movie but not really both in the same night. When it got worse we could still do a drive through for awhile. Pretty much can't do anything together away from home now except maybe visit people for under an hour.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Has your wife visited a doctor? I did - with great difficulty and discomfort - and they offered three disparate treatments. None of them sound fun but all are pretty doable.

Good luck to your wife. Manageable or not, the situation sucks.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Basically she has many issues and we are sorta constantly deciding which to deal with. This one is actually one of her oldest and she has done multiple things. The nuback trio is the device she uses. Seems god aweful to me but she swears by it. She could use it on the floor before but now uses the bed (we use a sleep number and she puts it up to maximum firmness. would recommend as its the only bed you can modify day to day depending how you feel. get the cheapest version though and modify with toppers and such of your choice). She goes to the pain clinic when nothing else works and takes over the counters. She is worried about surgery because of what she sees with outcomes. Being so familiar with back problems and medical things is kinda funny. When this commercial for university of chicago super back specialty center or whatever came out I pointed it out to her as you can see they try to minimize showing it but the guy can't turn his head at all. When you see him in the hallway talking to doctors you can see how he kinda turns his whole torso from the waist (its an upper back procedure). She has a lot of other things to sorta handle and no one works holistically nowadays in us medicine even though they will throw out the term. one thing at a time.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That sounds like no fun. I hope things improve for her.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 4 days ago

Unfortunately and Im not sure how much your realize this. Its mostly about not getting worse and basic remediation of pain and such. Baring miracle medicine advances its just an area that is limited. Hope your things go as well as they can.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (2 children)

My first TENS unit just arrived in le mail. I just slapped them gel pads on my back like old buddies. Even if it only works as a counterirritant/distraction, I am here for it. I've only ever used one in a physical therapist's clinic. This is the day, my pain brothers. This is the day.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 3 points 5 days ago

my wife uses tens to and feels it helps.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Plus now you're prepared for the kink communities!

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I am? I don't think I want to know any more about those particular communities, but thank you for the encouragement. I figured out how to use the TENS, exactly according to the manual and in a dull fashion. {As Is Tradition.}

[–] Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I wish it were today.

Here is proof that the world is cruel and unjust, that such pain could befall one who properly uses the subjunctive.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago

What an elegant and erudite compliment. I had to read it several time before I understood its layers.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

This is probably among the top... Seven, I think? nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

Excluding one particular individual who has said a lot of nice things, but I don't know how to tag from my client and I'm not sure he'd want to be called out anyway.

Some say I should raise my standards, but those comments also rank among the top seven.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it was a relief, at least, to have a professional tell me I wasn’t just being pathetic

Every guy here felt that. Uhhh....the statement. Not your back pain. Although I do have a constant back pain. Just not as extensive as yours.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I want to cry, but I'm kind of ashamed to.

I think about if I'd had this pain before I was married and I'm so, so grateful for my wife being willing to take care of me. I can't imagine anyone I lived with before being willing to go to the extent that she has. She's an amazing boon to me.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You are not pathetic, by the way. You are actually brave not to get swept off by opioid prescriptions. It's ok to cry, it relieves stress, the stress chemicals actually "bleed off" in our tears. So GTFO, you stress chemicals! We don't need you hanging around our back doors. ;)

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

That's very kind of you to say.

The last time I had opioids of any sort was when I had a dental surgery. I didn't even open them until the whole thing with my back, then I very reluctantly tried them out of desperation. They were a weak enough dosage that they didn't impact my head in a way noticable to my wife or to me (still didn't drive or anything risky though), but they helped a little with my pain. I think they might have helped me get to the doctor but boy was that car ride painful. I never finished them. I think about half the prescription is still in my bedside drawer, actually.

Before that, the most recent experience I had with them was when I broke my ankle. They gave them to me when I was in the hospital and, while they certainly helped with the pain, I really really didn't like what they did to my head. There was a point where I legitimately questioned my connection to reality and whether I'd gone insane. They prescribed me, IIRC, a ten day dose for home; I think I took them for a day, maybe a day and a half, then never again. My wife ended up throwing them out.

(Besides how unpleasant they were from the inside, my wife said it was concerning to watch me do nothing while using them. She said I didn't eat, didn't pee, didn't even sleep (that last part was the most upsetting to me and I think why I questioned reality). Even if I had enjoyed them, I don't want that to be my life and I don't want to upset my wife like that.)

I'm never going to judge someone for pursuing whatever recreation they want (so long as they're not hurting anyone else and are aware of whatever damage they're doing to themselves) - I have my own vices. I'll take serious pain medication if I have to, like if I break my ankle, but if it can be avoided I will do so because I did not like the experiences.

I appreciate that the current medicine they have me taking, gabapentin, operates on the nerves and doesn't do any kind of party drug stuff. They say it can make you sleepy, but fortunately I seem to have dodged that.

Thanks again for being kind!

[–] Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's ok to cry when you have pain, society is kinda messed up for blokes "not being allowed".

Have you at least got some pain killers from your doctor whilst you wait?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I broke my ankle a few years back and initially my doctor thought this was the problem. She prescribed stretching.

After enough complaining on my part, she finally prescribed one month of low dose muscle relaxers. These worked better than the stretches I had been doing, but didn't really do much for me.

After I was stuck in bed for eleven days, I went to an orthopedic doctor, who was perhaps more convinced by my pained trembling and virtual inability to stand than my GP had been. They prescribed gabapentin. This is what I'm taking while I wait. It's not enough to stop the pain (hence this post) but it is enough that I can make it further than the restroom and mostly shower on a daily basis.

[–] Minnels@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have cried a lot infront of my girlfriend and I am not ashamed of this. Also Infront of friends. Why suppress your feeling? Just be yourself and if someone tells you otherwise, they can go fuck themselves. Be a human, not a robot.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don't like to cry, but I'm not exactly ashamed to. I have cried in front of my wife and my friends and they have cried in front of me.

I am ashamed to feel this strongly about my pain. Lots of people feel way more pain, and way less treatably, than I do. Like I said, it was a relief when my doctor told me I wasn't just being a wimp, but given what others suffer I should focus my sympathy on them and not on myself.

edit: s/was/way/

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You must pay the embarssment tax, what is the suspected cause?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's not all that embarrassing, but it's an embarrassing memory because I was younger and my friends laughed at me as it happened.

It was quite a while ago, but my ortho says that this stuff can take a long time to manifest.

Basically I was a teenager helping my friend renovate a trailer they were going to rent. During the process, they had pulled down a lot of wall coverings. The side that would have gone away from the wall was shiny and therefore slippery; the friend had stacked up all the pieces with the slippery side downwards.

I was, for what I'm sure were reasons, standing on top of this pile of slippery-side-down wall coverings when my friend pretended he was going to run at me and swing some chicken wire at me. (Like I said ... Teenagers.) I played along and backpedalled, only because of my tenuous footing, I went nowhere and each piece of slippery wall covering went flying out in front of me due to its lack of grip on anything under it. Eventually I ran out of pile and, as soon as my foot got traction on the ground, fell straight on my ass. It hurt - rather a lot - but I just took some aspirin and moved on. Later that week I went to a doctor, who x-rayed my back. That doctor said "there are some cracks in your spine, but I'm not worried about that."

I was!

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 3 points 6 days ago

That's wild, at least you got a good story out of it

[–] MakingWork@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

These two weeks will be long but then you'll be good after and one day hopefully you will even forget the pain.

We all feel stupid going to the doctors. But that's the only way to get help.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you for helping guide me to making it work.

[–] MakingWork@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

You got this!

Days will feel long but afterwards they'll be better.

Nice wordplay on my username by the way!

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Thanks! I will admit I fell asleep shortly after making that comment, then woke up and saw that I had done so. I had no idea why I'd made that comment until I finally re-noticed your username.

A lot of people, including you, have said some very nice things in this thread. Not a person has mocked or criticized me. I appreciate all of you.

[–] MakingWork@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

Lemmy has such kind people! I'm glad you napped.

No criticism at all. We have all felt stupid in front of a doctor. I felt stupid going to see a physiotherapist but that's what they are there for. Sometimes even need a second opinion.

If you ever want to talk just send a message. Not sure your time zone but 12 days after today!

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You paid the embarrassment tax like a man! Feel better soon.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thanks! I hope you enjoyed the story.

[–] verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

Oh, I did. I have been there, I am there and await for an appointment on Nov. 28th to get some new ideas on what to do from here.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world -2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Did you try magnets?

That's my only idea really.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I do have a magnetic personality. Not sure if it helped though.