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Johnny Bartlet - the Frighteners (1996)
Please, please, please.... Stretch your PECS!
Tight chest muscles pull your shoulders forward and will definitely cause pain in a lot of these areas.
Look up simple: Door Frame stretch.
Also, if you decide to get a professional massage, the therapist MUST work on your PECS, make sure to discuss it.
I know y'all hate YT... but, here:
I got chronic back/joint/muscle issues for 15 years. I feel advice like this is only semi-useful. Every body is different, and you gotta use a holistic approach to the whole system to really fix/maintain shit. Short harmstrings and a weak core alone can cause this. And you can work your pecs all you want, it will come back if you don't work on your core too.
I've worked massage systems for many years. A very high % of clients get a lot of relief from pectoral deep tissue work and regular stretching.
Of course it's not a "cure all", but, a significant amount of people don't even take it into consideration.
Oh can I chime in with a question as well?
What is that "and then there's this fucking asshole" muscle? Because from the location that is exactly the asshole that got me hospitalized twice for intercostal neuralgia - once with an ambulance ride, highest doses of morphine (didn't ease the pain and made me very sick and whiny), and an x ray because they assumed I had broken a rib bone.
When I had my third attack I recognized it was that fucking thing again and that I could do nothing but wait it out for two days. I also realized there is a connection to emotional distress and it probably has a big psychosomatic factor. I hadn't had a big attack in years but when I get distressed I still get pain in that stripe next to my spine. It gets tense just writing this out and remembering.
I've given birth and with the biggest honesty and calm asked my partner to kill me during labor. The intercostal neuralgia was about 2% less painful than childbirth and I didn't end up with a cute baby afterwards so it's really not worth the pain. It's cramping up to a point that I think the muscle will rip, then it goes away. After a couple of seconds again, cramp, can't breathe, can't talk, gone. For days. Nowadays it's usually not that bad that I cannot breathe but WHAT IS THIS FUCKER and what can I do to strengthen it and, more importantly, to actively relax it?
Sorry, I'm not a strengthening coach. And you'd need a hands on eval to try find the muscle group that might be your "bitch".
Do you happen to have any tips for when your fuckiest of fuckwaffles is lower than the ones pictured? As in, lower back. Particularly right above the tail bone for me.
Sounds like it might be the "QL"... You could try to lay flat with a Lacrosse ball in that area. Or, if you can afford a massage, discuss "QL" with the therapist.
QL = quadratus lumborum
This muscle is very deep and can be difficult to work with. A good therapist should be comfortable using their elbow to lean in deep into your side.
Thank you!
Fair point
I slept weird and my left hand's pinky has been randomly going numb all day. It's kinda freaking me out. Knowing nerves and muscles, tho, it's probably one of these bastards.
I had an absolute fuck waffle for ages, nobody told me about frozen shoulder. Although I didn't go to an actual doctor, so
Wait, what's the one labeled "jackass" and how do you make it not give you agony? I will pay you an upvote if you tell me.
Try using your head as a counterweight to stretch out that muscle. So if it hurts on the right, slowly let your head hang to the left side until you feel it pulling on that spot. Hold the stretch for 30-60 seconds.
Personally, my asshole is much lower and I prefer it my way.
Did you accidentally cough while your neck was slightly turned after 30? That'll do it.
no i inhaled wrong
Then when you least expect, the underlying superstructure decides to give out because fuck you and now you have severe back pain from your spine that no amount of movement, exercise or pain killer can relief except for drugs that completely shut down your sense of self.
I've never had this kind of back pain before but I had a construction friend of mine who fell and hurt his back. It didn't kill him but it left him with a messed up spine for years ... to the point of debilitating pain ... that led him to taking over the counter drugs ... that led him to taking illegal drugs .... to the point of overdosing on drugs.
Mine doesn't do that, are you sure you're feeding it enough and making sure it gets proper rest and exercise? Bodies aren't toys, you know, they require a lot of care and responsibility. /joke
I don't know why you feel the need to turn the truth in to a joke. /s
It's because it's analogous to how people talk about pets, and it's also very condescending and I wanted the readers to know it was lighthearted. /Rhetorical Question, Farley
Bodies aren't toys? NOW YOU TELL ME? Absolutely unbelievable.
LOL the random caster wheel and the Stanley tape measure...Edit: oops that's not a tape measure
How do you fix "absolute fuckwaffle"? Asking for a friend.
Don’t sit like this 🦐
no
haha it has no-no words
sorry let me clean it up for you it's "an absolute fuckshitballs"
Where to punch your enemies according to your naming of them :
Try holding a 5lb weight over your head, I have the same pain you do and that's the only thing that gives me temp relief
but for the love of burt reynolds wear a helmet if you like to drop things
Do you have a video showing the exercise? There's many weighs (lol) to hold a weight over your head, I imagine
Sorry for the late reply, think of a snow angel kind of motion, but with a 5 pound weight in your hands
Gotcha
i am jacks long back extensor
Acupuncture needles work great