this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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Programmer Humor

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POV: You're a programmer (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'm a girl. I'm not interested in Haskell, that's too frigging endofunctiorific. Erlang! That's what all the cool guys are doing.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 4 hours ago

What about going an extra step into Elixir?

[–] bestelbus22@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago

Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another recreational programming session with who?

[–] mudkip@lemdro.id 2 points 8 hours ago

Well, JSON is an easy format to parse. The spec can fit onto one page.

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 52 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

No mom, I'm gonna BE a girl for Christmas. puts on programming socks

[–] Quibblekrust@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 hour ago

That's 100% how I read it at first.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 19 points 17 hours ago

I don't think "programmer" fully captures the reality of being an emacs-based programmer.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This kind of text hits differently when you're a lesbian.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 13 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Wouldn’t it hit the same as it would a straight male?

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago

POV: Not all moms are accepting of their daughters being into girls.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 34 points 1 day ago (8 children)

There are far more male programmers... As a programmer, be gay or stay alone... Choose!

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 22 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Can programmers only be with other programmers or am I missing something?

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 8 points 15 hours ago

But you kind of have to leave the house for that... I mean... We talk about programmers....

/s

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 18 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

"JSON parser 100% from scratch in Haskell in 110 lines" doesn't get you horny? I guess some people are just wired differently.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 4 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

I’m a programmer myself but my wife isn’t a programmer, that was my motivation for questioning.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

Oh, is she, like, an EE or something? Maybe a web designer?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Don't worry. I mean nothing but humour by it. I myself am married to a physicist who takes absolutely no interest whatsoever in programming, but can talk happily for ages about something weird they found.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Oh that explains why my wife is gay

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

And clearly it worked!

[–] mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If she was around the same cs students as me then yeah

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago

Ouch!

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[–] magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 79 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Jokes on her, I've transitioned since last Christmas.

[–] Fisherswamp@programming.dev 76 points 1 day ago

You can still bring a girl though

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 74 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Who needs a girl when you have monads to keep you warm?

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