this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 38 comments
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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 69 points 3 days ago (1 children)

For $1,000 bucks you can call me slurs for 8-hours straight.

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 53 points 3 days ago (2 children)

That's $125/hr. That's a hell of a lot more than I get paid, but at least I get breaks. And most of the time I'm not called slurs.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

"Most."

Sorry you have to put up with that crap at all.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, usually it's me being mean to myself.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

"Why're you hitting yourself?" - as my older brother makes me do so by whipping my arm around...

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

I'm aware of the likelihood, but I try my best not to ass-u-me.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 1 points 2 days ago

it’s not when working customer support

[–] lengau@midwest.social 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can multitask. Get called slurs while I'm working and make an extra $1000/day.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

Then multiplying it by suing your employer for a hostile working environment.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 50 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm already ugly so might as well get paid for it.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 days ago

Why should only the beautiful people (apologies for quoting Marilyn Manson) get paid, anyway? They're already skating through life because they won the genetics lottery, so they don't need the money like the ugly people do.

[–] hotdogcharmer@lemmy.zip 19 points 3 days ago

That's literally free money, yes please.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

Pay me and I'll gladly offer a verbal beatdown.

[–] Imadethis@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

A thousand bucks? No, sorry, but I do have other things that could help. Holes that could be filled in your life.

[–] Chivera@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You're offering holes? Where's the line

[–] Imadethis@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 3 days ago

Well, I keep trying to get people to pour habanero juice on themselves before blocking my windpipe, but no one wants to try it. Something about sensitive skin.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sure. Make the check out to, "I know you are, but what am I?"

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fuck that, make the check out to Cash!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

But that's not a sick burn right back in their mean faces to show them you don't even care what they think and that you can't even help that it's like that.

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'd take the $1000 and then pay someone $100 to tell me I'm beautiful.

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

I'll do it for free. You are beautiful.

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Without any hesitation.

I had long hair (blonde, very thick and curly) in my late teens. Back then men with long hair were pretty rare outside the larger cities, so I usually got a large variety of insults nearly every time I went to countryside.

Sometimes people would throw money at my feet and yelled "Go to a barber, freak!" I always thanked them out loud and then I picked the money up.

Free money is always nice.

[–] phar@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

People throwing money at you because you have long hair seems somewhat unbelievable just saying

[–] Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

Nowadays, definitely.

But a few decades ago in my backwater country this was reality. It happened to me twice on different regions and one of my friends who also had long hair told me it had also happened to him. I only got pocket change, but still enough to buy a can of beer ;)

At the time we deduced that there had to have been some broadcast TV show which had given them this bizarre idea, since widespread Internet access was years away at the time.

But as if this was not enough, the wierdest heckling I got was when I walking the dog with my girlfriend and a group of guys about our age passed us and called us "fucking gay". My girlfriend was feminine, pretty and I was very far from both.

It was a very, very strange time.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Not ugly, but everybody has their own view and $1000 is $1000.

[–] original_reader@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago

Sure. Not my fault that that person cannot appreciate true beauty. If they even want to pay for that lack of understanding, by all means, be my guest.

[–] Neomega@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That is the answer I would expect from logic Queen

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago

Are you implying she's the logic queen because of her looks? 😜

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Pay me and find out.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

Do I get paid $1,000,000 if I'm Ugly²

?

[–] KenOh@feddit.online 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I always wonder about casting calls for acting when they're looking for someone who is ugly or otherwise unsightly. Like, what's kind of paper trail do they have on that?

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Sorry, best we can do is a beautiful person with glasses and shoddy clothes.

[–] notarobot@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah! Is it like "there is a character that is so ugly they are always sad and kill themselves and you seem perfect for that role!"?

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago

Yes i am, tyvm.

[–] Botzo@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Omg thank you for the money!

[–] NotSteve_@piefed.ca 2 points 3 days ago