this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 13 points 2 days ago

First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?

https://youtu.be/gTWjPHfXnUE

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 52 points 2 days ago (2 children)

They do not reproduce (setting aside Smurfette, who is technically a Golem) and they also do not die… they must be DIVINE MANIFESTATIONS.

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Yeah didnt Papa Smurf make Smurfette with magic?

[–] crmsnbleyd@sopuli.xyz 29 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Their enemy made smurfette with magic to seduce them

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 25 points 2 days ago

Yes, Gargamel made her out of blue clay, Papa Smurf did the “beautification”.

[–] QuoVadisHomines@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Thanks it's been over 40 years since I could tolerate the Smurfs. I tried watching it once as an adult and it was brutal.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Well...yeah, in the same sense that the bedroom is "where the magic happens." Did you think they meant literal magic lol? Papa Smurf definitely fucks bro.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago

They're U-social parasitoids; one reproducing female, one fertile male, and a large number of sterile male workers. They infest human areas and manipulate them into protecting their nests. Gargamel tried to inhibit their spread by introducing a sterile female to this colony after an unknown event caused their breeding female to disappear. Likely the colony would have raided another colony for its female if they had located one, making Gargamel's intervention necessary to prevent them looking for a fertile replacement queen.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 97 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Fun fact: I sometimes watch the new stuff with my niece and they have many female characters now. The latest season even has a girl village next to the normal one and they regularly interact with each other but there are female only episodes as well. The normal village also has women, I'm not sure about the exact (gender) dynamics at play

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 34 points 2 days ago (5 children)

So the new version passes the Bechdel test?

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 54 points 2 days ago

no, but it does pass the Smurfdel Smurf

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 25 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Yeah but one does have to question if segregation is actually progress

[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

It's even funny the way the parent comment described it: a girl town right next to the normal town.

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[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

No, the main village contains women but there is a small village with a young girl clique. Gargamel has his niece and nephew for a visit. Might be special for smaller kids. The episodes weren't that long online (they aren't anymore but older episodes are)

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Wow! TIL. Also, maybe less surprisingly, I just found that EURIMAGES has it as a criterion, so I guess no public EU money for your movie project if it doesn't pass the test.

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[–] Odo@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.

Henchman 21: Oh my God, you’re crazy! They’re so obviously mammals!

Henchman 24: Please! She’d be in estrus 24/7 if she didn’t lay eggs.

Henchman 21: Smurfs don’t lay eggs! I won’t tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They’re mammals!

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 day ago

Insects have hair that serves several purposes, and birds can have feathers that resemble hair. Also there are mammals that lay eggs so there's that too.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

Goats have beards and they lay eggs

Did Henchman 21 ever hear of the Bearded Dragon?

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago
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[–] bss03@infosec.pub 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is Sassette erasure and I won't stand for it! /s

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's just one little problem...

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I do believe she eventually grows to the age of consent, but I could be wrong.

Of course, I was saying "only female" is Sassette erasure. I was not saying "only mating prospect" is Sassette erasure.

I was just remembering her from my childhood. I wasn't up on my Sassette lore. I found a reference that says she was created the same way Smurfette was, which surprised me.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 3 points 1 day ago

I looked it up and she was added in 1966 - Smurfette is a boomer. Incidentally I learned that they retconned in female smurfs starting in 2008. Also, here's my disgustingly necessary condemnation of rule 34.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smurfette

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 4 points 1 day ago

This means that Gargamel was heroically working to contain the infestation and researching a cure.

[–] monotremata@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Honestly the idea that parasites all share a single, simple method of reproduction is the silliest thing in this comic. There's a cordyceps fungus that not only has a stage in an ant, it then swells and reddens the abdomen of the ant, takes over the behavior of the ant and forces it to climb to the top of a stalk of grass, and has it wave in the air until a bird mistakes it for a berry and swoops down and eats it. At this point it has a whole other phase of its life cycle inside the bird until it finally releases its spores in the bird's droppings.

(I probably have a few of the details here not quite right, as it's not my field of expertise, but it's along these lines, including the behavior modification and the two separate host species.)

There are so many kinds of parasites, and they do so many crazy things.

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This was covered back in '93 on usenet. Behold: Smuckfest!

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is ancient furry porn, isn't it?

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Huh. I'm not sure how far back furries go.

If not, it's certainly proto furry porn. Pretty sure it predates the formulation of Rule 34.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What most people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.

Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.

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[–] BlushedPotatoPlayers@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Years ago I found a page that reasoned that the whole thing is a communist propaganda (they have no money, share food etc), then SWITCH and they went on how the whole thing is a Nazi propaganda (the bad guy looks like an archetypical jew who wants to make gold of them, etc).

I can't find the original, but there's a lot of sites that claim one or the other

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

archetypical jew who wants to make gold of them

He also makes a golem from clay (smurfette)

New elmo tweet incomming, people

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

And the smurfs wear white hoods. Except the leader who wears red (like the klan)

He has wanted them fir different purposes at different times. In the US bersions he wanted to eat them very often.

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what happened to the shirt?

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 19 points 2 days ago

Numerically speaking, the virus wants to keep smurfette alive as long as possible.

This comic still gives me some kinda ick.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

TFW the antagonist in The Smurfs was right all along.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Didn't he want to eat them or something? That sounds like a one-way ticket to a body horror ending...

[–] BlushedPotatoPlayers@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think originally he wanted to use them to make gold

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

yep. that's the biggest tell that the Smurfs is about communism. in any other kids story the antagonist would either want to get rid of them or eat them, which is why most people just assume that's what he wants. but no, he wants gold. he's a capitalist.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago

He appeared in Robot Chicken and admitted that he was never all that clear on his motivations.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

First book, he needs them to make gold.

Then it's just revenge.

Or so I remember.

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[–] Tomassci@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 days ago

Parasites: Being Factories for more parasites, since 3.5 BYA or so (or when the first viruses emerged (viruses are parasites that kinda forgot how to do anything but parasitism))

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago

Thanks I hate it.

[–] jankforlife@lemmy.ml 17 points 3 days ago

c/imsorryjon

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