this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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(shamelessly stolen from an imgur dump)

(page 5) 50 comments
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[–] veniasilente@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

3 and 5 are a potentially broken combo. In particular if "control a toaster" means control and not just "operate", since then it's basically toasterkinesis, or being able to instantly turn any toaster into a bomb. "teleport up to 10 inches away sounds like it wouldn't be too useful but it does, in principle, allow you to phase out incoming bullets and a fair amount of lateral blade hits if you time it right.

6 and 7 could have some interesting, niche uses in some fields. 6 for example could be used for intimidation if "10 hours younger" is interpreted chronologically: even after taking a serious wound, you'd look pristine for around 10 hours so it might be used to scare or distract some enemies.

I'm... not even sure what 4 or 9 could ever be used for.

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[–] LostWon@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Depending on how fast the teleport is, whether there's a delay between uses and whether it causes significant fatigue or other side effects, I might take that. Other than that, it's a toss-up for me between the extinct language and communicating with oysters.

[–] Lolors17@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Apart fron all the others, number 7 seems kinda useful.

[–] brlemworld@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Yep. This cup has the ball in it because I can see inside the others. Give me my $20.

[–] PrimePathPioneer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

3 and 7, teleporting a short distance like that can be extremely useful to get past roors and fences. Identifying whether a container was empty or not reliably is good enough proof to clean out this list without being powerful enough that the majority of people would actually believe I have magic, plus I don't have to reveal my teleporting ability.

4 and 5.

toasters are cool. having them do your bidding? priceless.

4 because I am a kind and generous person. free noses for everybody~*!

~*you~ ~can~ ~opt-out~

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

3 and 6. There was no limit to how often you can use the power, so just spam them. Look 20 and fly.

[–] candle_lighter@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

You could escape from anything with number 3

[–] 257m@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I want this to be an actual proper format for those shitty superpower communities.

[–] FollyDolly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

As someone with a gravel driveway, I will take free gravel for life. Lump sum is okay but installments are prefured.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

1 & 7 or 2 & 7 rough choices.

With the oysters you could probably ascertain way more knowledge than you expected.

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[–] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

2 and 3. I'm starting a gravel company. 3 just because it's the 2nd most useful one.

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

5 and 8.

Languages are rad and so are toasters.

[–] Jesse@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Why is no one choosing 7? Xray vision is absolutely going to be super useful. After that its a tossup between 2 and 3.

7 isn't clear on the definition of empty.

for all we know, anything with air isn't "empty".

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Depends on the teleport cool down, but that's the obvious first choice. From there it's tough between 1, 2, and 5...

Free gravel for money making and Toaster mind control for the sheer laziness or the lolz

[–] Twelve20two@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 year ago

2 + 3

2 because I'm sure free gravel will come in handy at some point, and 3 because I can now teleport to the other side of locked doors

[–] Kaliax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
[–] LiamMayfair@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 year ago

5 and 8. Imagine being able to spook people out all around the world by making their toaster go off in the middle of the night. Also, speaking in dead languages will make me very interesting at parties.

[–] arefx@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Free gravel and can speak khitan. You can sell the gravel for money and you can say just about anything and no one will get mad at you cause no one will understand you.

[–] Surp@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Teleport obviously

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