this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Hector_McG@programming.dev 71 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Program in assembly, 40 columns is plenty. You just need an awful lot of rows.

[–] giloronfoo@beehaw.org 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Same monitor, just rotate it.

[–] dudinax@programming.dev 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you don't use a vertical monitor I don't consider you a real programmer.

[–] interolivary@beehaw.org 38 points 2 years ago

Joke's on you: I don't consider myself a real programmer either

[–] Jocker@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 years ago (5 children)

We need the same monitor, vertically!

[–] taldennz@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Samsung 55" Oddity in 'cockpit' mode has you covered.

[–] rmam@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago

Samsung 55" Odyssey in cockpit mode.

Oh god, that is awful.

I want one.

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[–] Captain_Patchy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

As someone that first learned to program in 8008 machine code, you aren't really wrong, but formatting is and always will be for the weak.

[–] henfredemars@lemdro.id 32 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

I have a monitor that's almost like this and it's surprisingly nice. It feels like a two-monitor setup. Two actual monitors would probably have been cheaper, but I got mine from work, so it wasn't a factor.

The real advantage of having two actual monitors is being able to flip one vertically for reading code.

EDIT: a word

[–] Milx@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Everyone at my work who has this runs into issues whenever they need to share their screens, apologizing for low resolution or painstakingly resizing every window to mimic multiple screens anyway.

[–] firelizzard@programming.dev 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I just share one window at a time. I put the meeting on one half and the window I want to share on the other, which makes it 16:9 and works perfectly for what I need to share.

[–] Milx@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Yeah people do that, until you're sharing a code window and then need to see if it works on a browser and then your dev tools are popped out so you have three windows...or you don't want to just have one meeting and one window visible, you also want slack or a window for googling or something similar...

It's all workaround-able, it's just minor annoyance after minor annoyance lol.

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[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I bought one after some months of remote work in 2020. Then when I started my new job they gave me another one (different manufacturer but exact same panel size). I needed to rearrange my desk a lot, but holy shit so much room for error messages!

Yes, I'm a Java developer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] MaungaHikoi@lemmy.nz 4 points 2 years ago

It was either that or a C++ programmer. Those template error messages are gnarly.

[–] bleistift2@feddit.de 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The real advantage of two monitors is that you can turn one off if you don’t need the full 50000px width.

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[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Jfc. Do people really write code like this? I’ve been writing code in Java for 15+ years and have never seen anything like this.

You need more skill, not a wider monitor. SMH.

[–] words_number@programming.dev 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Hello world in Java:

class 9-A {
    public static endangered therefore protected final void main(String[] args) {
        System.prepareTheOutputBufferForPrintingAsTheNextStatementWillDoSo(args);
        System.in.out.in.out.shake.it.all.around("Java is a programming language " +
            "invented by the intelligent monkeys " +
            "working at Sun Microsystems.");
        return void; // duh!
    }
 }
[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

ROFL you’ve proved my point. Just because Java gives you an opportunity to hang yourself doesn’t mean you should or have to.

You took one line of code and turned it into a novel. Bad programmers do this and then ignorant folks blame it on the language when it’s really just a lack of knowledge/skill.

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[–] Von_Broheim@programming.dev 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Yeah, you never see this in enterprise settings. Sure builders or streams can get a bit long but you just pop each .x() on a new line.

And when they're on new lines intellij has a cool feature where it creates a little UI only comment next to the line showing what type it returns.

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[–] muhanga@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago

Somewhere someone probably does... But this piece of code really look like someone either tried to inline a bunch of calls or this is code generated object mapper from json or other nested model.

Nobody with a sane mind and serious attitude will use this code as a "real" code. (I still believe in people, despite all the evidence to the contrary I get every day)

As a fun bit though this taken some dedication.

[–] moosh@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Is this a good thing I’m looking at or a bad thing? I don’t get it but then again, I’m not a programmer.

[–] eugene1970@waveform.social 31 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Java is a programming language that is notorious for being verbose, the joke is that you need a massively wide monitor to view it without the text being cut off

[–] moosh@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Ah, thanks for the explanation!

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[–] 1stTime4MeInMCU@mander.xyz 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The joke is Java is verbose. It takes many characters to accomplish simple routines. Depending on your view that could either be good or bad for reading the code later.

[–] Anomandaris@kbin.social 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

Sure, but most of the lines in the screenshot break down to:

object1.setA(object2.getX().getY().getZ().getI().getJ().getK().getE().getF(i).getG().toString())

Aside from creating a method inside the class (which you should probably do here in Java too) how would another language do this in a cleaner way?

[–] bleistift2@feddit.de 8 points 2 years ago (5 children)

You shouldn’t reach through an object to invoke a method. That tightly couples the classes which getJ and getG (for instance) return.

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[–] Blackthorn@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well I guess the point is that you shouldn't need all these method calls to achieve simple goals. Most of those "getF" are calls to some SystemFactory to get a GenericObjectFactory and so on and so forth.

[–] Anomandaris@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This just tells me you don't use Java. Factory classes are just used to create objects in a standardized way, but this code isn't creating anything, it's just getting nested fields from already instantiated objects.

[–] squaresinger@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Thos code is obviously nonsense to show the issue.

But other languages would simplify stuff. For example, some languages call getters implicitly, so .getField() becomes .field. Same with list indexing, which could be done with operator overloading, so x.get(i) becomes x[i].

In this situation that would be able to reduce the character count a fair bit.

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[–] fredthedeadhead@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Kotlin would represent the getter/setters as synthetic properties (and do so automatically, since Kotlin interops with Java).

object1.A = object2.X.Y.Z.I.J.K.E.getF(i).G.toString()

Of course it's still not great (there's still too much nesting, there's something fundamentally wrong with how the data is structured) but at least the code is less noisy.

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[–] Von_Broheim@programming.dev 10 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Had an ultra wide for a while, went back to 2 27" monitors after 2 years. 2 monitors is more convenient imo. I can flip one vertical whenever. Less fiddly to have multiple things open at once. One is centered while the other is on the side and angled, much nicer way of separating what's my focus. Easier to screen share. I always found the curve distracting for text.

[–] CoderKat@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The ultra-wide's big appeal is definitely more for gaming than programming.

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[–] nicotinell@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You're dangerously close to the edge there bud, what's your plan B when that starts to overflow huh?

[–] SamXavia@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Buy a second monitor with the same space

[–] clutchmatic@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

...and that, kids, is why java has this thing called imports

[–] snowe@programming.dev 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Imports wouldn’t help. It’s setters with a ton of chained getters

[–] hughperman@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Mostly they're all the same up to the last one or two methods - just set the common part as a variable?

[–] snowe@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Definitely. I’m pretty sure they modified the code to look as bad as possible just to take the photo though. You can clearly see all the lines are marked as modified in the gutter.

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[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

LOL, that said. The BEST thing I ever bought when WFH started was a 4k monitor.

The extra screen real estate is amazing

[–] yoz@aussie.zone 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

no, he's using a very old version of IntelliJ Idea

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[–] twelvefloatinghands@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Type aliasing in java could have saved us from the current pixel shortage, but at least kotlin is giving us a cheaper path forward.

[–] Nioxic@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

that's some serious chaining lol

[–] phoneymouse@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

AbstractInitiatorFactoryDelegateVisitorFactory

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