this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
427 points (96.3% liked)

Greentext

5434 readers
1921 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
427
Anon misses a hint (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
18 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
top 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 85 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She needed help with her physics class assignments, Anon dodged a bullet.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 54 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The bullet weighs 10 grams and has a velocity of 330 m/s. It hits Anon in his 5 kg head and, because it's a rubber bullet, bounces off elastically. How fast is Anon's head moving after the collision?

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

0.66 m/s ?

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not quite, remember it's an elastic collision.

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago

Ah, 1.317 m/s then.

[–] BeeDemocracy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 months ago

Depends, how stiff is his neck?

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have that at uni.

Hot girl asked me to come to her place after a party, said she "wanted help with her computer".

She actually wanted help with her computer.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 3 points 3 months ago

Well? Did you help her?

[–] Frog@lemmy.ca 72 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Be femanon
Talking to nice, attractive guy
Invite him to my house, parents aren't home
Guy makes every excuse to not come over
What is wrong with me?

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago

This is so clearly fake and gay, bait used to be believable.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I just recently realized I had a coworker flirting with me... 2 years after leaving that job.

Last time some one flirted with me it took me ~5 years to notice. That's a big improvement. I don't expect a 3rd data point though...

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It already happened, you just haven't realized yet.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 4 points 3 months ago

There no way I could have 2 in a decade.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 33 points 3 months ago

If you cut off the last two or three lines, you can see this as a screenplay for an extremely gruff, overworked guy who is intentionally dismissive.

If you cast the guy as more attractive than the girl, then the rest of the scene plays out with anon as a chad who just does not care.

If he maybe cares, he can further 'chad' by looking at his watch, saying "Well, if you need help looking for em, I'll be here tomorrow" and then him leaving.

[–] Tehdastehdas@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

The solution is being honest instead of hinting.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel like "my parents aren't home" isn't even hinting. It's downright obvious.

[–] Tehdastehdas@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

If you know the saying. Anon heard it the first time.

[–] Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 months ago

"HeY yOu WaN ComE TO My HoUsE aND FuCK?"