Are you sure this is not handled on-device?
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No. But even if it is, how would the icon appear if I have never visited the .onion site?
on-device
You don’t mean like a pre-existing list of potential .onion sites that iOS users may one day visit, right?
I can't say for sure, but I message could easily visit the website to get the icon. This is how signal works when you send a website, it visits the website to also share the website name and a screenshot.
This is exactly how Apple and almost all messaging apps work for almost all http: and https:. But there are no Apple-developed TOR-protocol products.
Apple has easy access to Google’s icon if I message a link to, say, https://google.com; how can Apple emulate that behavior if I message a link to http://fully-functional-domain-with-identifiable-branding.onion?