In the words of Bo Burnham, "We all deserve love; even on the days when we're not our best; cuz we all suck, but love can make us suck less"
You shouldn't seek a relationship just to fix yourself, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't seek a relationship. I think you're being too hard on yourself.
You are not as broken as you think you are.
Stopped what shit? At the end of the day, what did it accomplish? Cops still kill black people, and most face very little repercussions.