It's not like translation is hard these days, but I will say it's rare I do it for ich_iel myself as well. In this case the meme says:
- I'm suing you!
- World, greetings. I'm the hero of the stones, in Frankfurt am Main (a city), in the heart of Europe, in my wonderful little shop, on a fantastic day, and look what I've brought you.
And then there's the ß and ü ö ä and so on. Glad I have most of the keys on my keyboard, but on a mobile device? That does sound like too much effort indeed.