RisenPhoenix

i never had any restriction in dating or anything, i think that im just unnatractive

heart issues mean i cant go to gym and start lifting and stuff, so cant get in shape, im trying to do calistenics but they are not that good for getting big muscles

well, maybe you are right... maybe someday i will have a courage to use service of sex workers

no, i mean what if i get addicted to sex? i will just spend more money on it, than doing something towards becoming better

that i would want more and more, not sure that its will do good to my mental health

about nice haircut, im balding ;D i tried buz cut and fully bald but my head shape isnt that great so it looks odd, i had some haircuts that i liked but now my front hair started to recede so they dont look good anymore

im not sure that i want to get into this loop, as an weak-willed person. After first time i would want a second one and etc, not sure that this good in a long run

im not that skilled for an art group, maybe sometime in the future, but right now my drawings are childish and its kinda cringe in a way

Yeah, but how to find that kind of women? Most of women i tried to approach are into stuff that i dont like. Finding internet groups that like same stuff? I dunno, isnt that creepy when random dude trying to get acquainted through messaging? A lot of female artist i find are already taken or married. Going to some conventions? Im not sure im ready for that kind of stuff as an introvert

thank you for kind words, you are right i dont want to burden anyone with my problems, but i just cant get this thoughts from my head... All of my friends already have some experience, and im not, Dont want it to be just experience tho, but most of them saying that those feelings are nothing that i can compare to, so im really curious and jealous of not having that level of intimacy. Im not from US, but my place is not good either, people are gloomy and mostly not friendly

Well, i have a degree in computer science, i like a lot stuff about pc, coding. I also like art in general, i even draw sometimes and want to get better at it.

for that vibe - yes, but again im not attractive at all, someone notices me and prly will think about friendship at max. I am not saying friendships are bad - no, they are good if they are genuine, but it's just might be not what i'm looking for, or looked....