Tugboater203

joined 2 years ago
sorted by: new top controversial old
70
Why do melons have weddings? (lemmy.world)
 

Because they cantaloupe!

Thursday Night Football [Week 6] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

It was too late to matter for the game, but that was a bogus PI call in the end zone.

71
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of wine on command.... (lemmy.world)
 

She's a Bordeaux collie.

44
Why do ghosts speak Latin? (lemmy.world)
 

Because it's a dead language!

I'm easing into a Halloween theme for a bit.

Why did my coffee taste like dirt? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

You two knock it off, or you're grounded

Why did my coffee taste like dirt? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I've been a dad for a while, so the well is deep.

104
Why did my coffee taste like dirt? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
15 comments fedilink
 

Because it was ground this morning!

81
I'd like a career cleaning mirrors... (lemmy.world)
 

I can really see myself doing that.

Monday Night Football [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Pick 6! Woooo

60
How many stormtroopers does it take to change a light bulb? (lemmy.world)
 

None! They're all in the dark side.

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Well how about that! That was unexpected, and some sloppy football

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They want to be the Lions?

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

It's turning into a game now!

NFL Game Thread [Week 5] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol at that title

87
I went to a silent auction the other day...... (lemmy.world)
 

I won a dog whistle and 2 mimes

104
I gave a list to my handyman the other day, but he only did numbers 1, 3 and 5 (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Tugboater203@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
2 comments fedilink
 

It turns out he only does odd jobs...

63
I had a quiet game of tennis yesterday..... (lemmy.world)
 

There was no racquet....

46
Where do pumpkins have their meetings? (lemmy.world)
 

In the gourd-room!

129
I tried to start a professional Hide and Seek league. (lemmy.world)
 

It turns out, good players are hard to find...

137
I started a band called 999 megabytes... (lemmy.world)
 

We haven't gotten a gig yet...

Did I ever tell you the story about the time I went mushroom hunting? in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
NFL Game Thread [Week 4] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

They're dominating the second too.

NFL Game Thread [Week 4] in c/nfl@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Giants D is doing well, Dart too.

I got kicked out of the park the other day for organizing the squirrels by height.... in c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
[–] Tugboater203@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If they don't at least roll their eyes or breathe a little snort out of their nose, then I'll post a worse one tomorrow.

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