wildflowertea

Those of you with knowledge in the Way of the Bicycle, I need counsel.

Let me begin by saying I know nothing about how to repair a bicycle, and mine is a cheap one for cycling in the city.

One of the bearings of my front wheel said life is not worth living and broke down to pieces and flew off.

The shop tells me I need a new wheel. I took the ailing creature back home, removed the wheel and the axle, and found myself with the situation shown in the picture.

Is the piece at the top, still around the axle, part of the fallen bearing or part of the axle? It won’t budge, and the other bearing is impossible to remove because well, it turns. Because it is a bearing.

Do I need a new wheel? A new axle maybe…? I was hoping to save a lot of money by replacing the bearing myself, but it looks worse than I thought.

Thanks beforehand!

EDIT

Thanks so much for all your advice!

Tried the flathead screwdriver and WD-40 to get the inner bushing out, but it was impossible. 

In the end, I got both -the bearing and the inner bushing of the bearing- out with the help of a bench vice, a hammer, and some personal frustrations.

The axle looks good and so does the thread. 

I’ll now check the rest of my bike for any non-repairable issues, and if nothing appears to be wrong, I’ll buy two new bearings (the one I have left has “6000-2RS” on it) and go to my local repair café, because they way you all describe it, putting on the bearings is delicate business.

Here are also some photos of the hub and the spokes linked to it. I think everything looks okay with the wheel, which is why I found odd the full replacement. I want to believe it is simply because it is easier for them.

Hej allesammen

Jeg leder efter gode genbrugsboghandlere med “moderne” bøger (altså, ikke antikvariat) à la Bogshoppen.

Jeg kender Aarhus English Books, men butikken er lidt for kaotisk for mig, og jeg finder den ikke åbent, når jeg kommer forbi.

Kender I nogle gode butikker i denne stil?

Tak!

Hi everyone!

I’ve had my Hassio Yellow for a while and I am really happy with it – and because feck Philips and their spy-app.

However, I haven’t set up remote access yet because it seems really daunting and I’m worried I’ll make a mess. I am not bad with tech, but I’m not a computer engineer – and reading some Hassio texts makes me feel like I should, and I get easily overwhelmed…

I found the TOR add-on and I was considering that – but it mentions VPN, which I use, and to which my Hassio is connected.

My questions are:

• Do I need to install the add-on if I use VPN?
• If not, how do I set up remote access with my VPN?
• Should I stop using VPN if I set up TOR remote access?

Thank you all in advance.

I’m looking for story-heavy and/or artsy PC games with the same playing style as This War of Mine – but which won’t throw me into a pit of emotional despair.

Horror, sci-fi, and fantasy preferred, but I’m open to other themes too.

Thanks in advance!

[Mention of past abuse, narcissist parent, gaslighting.]

I (F) am having a tough time with the fallout from a relationship with a man that ended two months ago, and I'd appreciate some advice from other people who've experienced something similar or have some words about how to break the cycle.

We started dating under the premise of being poly/ENM. Together, we created a genuinely safe space where I could process past relationship trauma. For the first time, I felt capable of opening up without pressure or feeling like some "poor hurt demi-ace woman" trophy to be won.

Then came the withdrawal. During my 2.5-week trip abroad, he became distant. When asked why, he said he wasn't sure and needed time. A week of silence later, as I was heading home by train, he sent a breakup text explaining he'd realised he wasn't poly and wanted monogamy + kids (hard no for me).

This revelation? From one conversation with his best friend. One. After months of thinking he was poly, he had one talk and completely switched tracks, and instead of discussing these feelings with me, he withdrew and panicked, convinced I'd jump him and act like nothing had changed. Despite my consistent respect for boundaries and careful approach to intimacy, he created a fantasy version of me that matched his fears rather than reality.

I'm seething at the cowardice, but also drowning in compassion. I feel his withdrawal is a self-preservation mechanism from childhood trauma with a narcissistic parent, and he's fighting hard to overcome a saviour syndrome that kept him in past relationships well past their expiration date.

But honestly, I believe I stumbled too. When we finally met to talk, I was so disappointed and emotionally overwhelmed I could barely put words together, and I told him our time together "hadn't been worth it" - pure hurt speaking and untrue, but what is done is done.

Then, unable to let go overnight, I suggested staying online friends. He agreed but needed "time to process". What followed was a week of more withdrawal from him, ending with him demanding explanations for my words and behaviour while dismissing my pain. 

When I sent an audio explaining my hurt and suggesting we take some time apart, he responded with a text gaslighting me once again, twisting everything into being about his feelings. I ended up blocking him - betraying my own values of communication and reconciliation.

Now I'm dating myself, doing many things I wanted to do with him. With a partner. He lives in an area I've always loved and frequented, and I refuse to make my world smaller for him, so I haven't stopped going. We've already crossed each other a couple of times. I smiled, because I truly don't hate him nor wish him harm, and he acted like I wasn't there. Still the urge to reach out, to help... it lingers and it sucks.

I catch myself constantly hoping for dialogue, wanting to listen, to support… and I know this isn't healthy - ffs I've even stayed in contact with my abuser thinking my presence might prevent him from hurting other women.

And I know I sound fucking self-righteous and saintlike, and yet I feel anything but.

How can I redirect this energy back to myself? How can I stop trying to fix others and focus on my own healing? I'd love to hear any tips from those who've broken this pattern.

Thanks all 🖤