this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
993 points (95.1% liked)

Programmer Humor

22440 readers
1336 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MTK@lemmy.world 92 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Ways to easily spot that this is fake:

  • not all letters are in CAPS
  • too much punctuation
  • message is too clear and not confusing enough
  • no racism
  • no scapegoat
[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago

If I ever get through a Trump tweet and can follow the logic, it's not him writing it

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

no racism

I mean the whole point of the post is faux-xenophobia

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 127 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ban USB devices! Only support USA devices!

[–] martinb@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 day ago

Do not give them ideas

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 9 points 1 day ago

In fact why not just call it the America shell? Heck, why not drop all words and say USA instead? The bash shell is now known as "usa usa usa". Hey, here's an idea, let's just replace all words with usa! Usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa usa. Usa usa? Usa, usa usa.

[–] Notso@lemm.ee 137 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Elon Musk replied: "That's crazy. Has someone looked into this?"

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

I'm on it, but my hard drive is overheating!!

[–] psud@aussie.zone 70 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

If you want the joke decoded:

-e return immediately for some failed commands

-u throw an error for unset variables

-s non functional

-a everything is marked for export

[–] tazeycrazy@feddit.uk 87 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are those exports tariffed?

[–] Tungsten5@lemm.ee 14 points 2 days ago

Yeah but they have been delayed for about 3 months

[–] reinei@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

If everything is exported and the switch is -usa you wouldn't need tariffs though, right? Because exporting everything would close the trade deficit 🙊

[–] MetalMachine@feddit.nl 37 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I honestly think he would post something like this

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I don't think Donald Trump knows what a bash script is.

[–] Lightfire228@pawb.social 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's the only reason i don't think this is real

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 14 points 2 days ago

Y'all foolish. Him not knowing something doesn't stop him from speaking. Ever. I know you've seen that much already.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

It's thinly veiled hate speech towards his political rivals

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

it went wrong when he asked a question and answered with probably.

it would instead go straight to THE RADICAL LEFT WANTS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS TO BASH AMERICAN CITIZENS or something

there's no room for questions or probabilities in fascism, things need to be certain, binary, simple, and scary.

[–] III@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Too coherent.

[–] sun_is_ra@sh.itjust.works 86 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 39 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] CausticFlames@sopuli.xyz 44 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Born Again Bourne Again SHell..

BABASH is arriving

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

BABASH includes the following changes from bash:

  • The kill command has been replaced by baptise and exorcise. baptise prevents a program from spawning a daemon, and exorcise terminates daemons.
  • All quoting must be annotated with a bible verse number
  • Due to manpage shenanigans with touch, touch has been renamed to exalt. Attempting to access the manpage for touch will be reported.
  • Using pipelines will no longer do clean up for the user
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
  • mount is supplicate
  • rev is now reverence
  • head is divine
  • tail is divination
  • gawk is peer
  • man is saint
  • systemd is a-system
  • join is marriage
  • If you have any questions or remarks, take them to god in prayer. We will pray for your forgiveness
[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago
  • sed is sosayeth
  • cut is briss
  • grep is grab
[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 days ago

Why set and not executive-order?

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

and remember to remove # rm -france / 2> /dev/null

[–] RedSnt 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I had to run this as a sudo, what does it

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

it’s in the name.. it removes france

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 2 days ago

Force, remove, all, naughty, chumps, eerily

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

# in front of the command implies it should be ran as root

$ would mean normal user like such:

$ sudo rm -fr / --no-preserve-root

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Korn shell scripts get all the subsidizes anyways

[–] frontporchtreat@lemmy.ca 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"We're gonna hit China with bash scripts. These are nasty scripts... Believe me. The impact of the bash could be as big as Hiroshima"

[–] Laser@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Most bash scripts are nasty, except for the most simple ones.

In its defense, it's not a programming language.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Laser@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do programmers actually like bash?

I'm not a programmer and I really don't like bash. Not because I don't like shell. In fact I do like fish as a shell. But bash always feels super weird. Unfortunately that's kind of the compatibility baseline on Linux (I don't think any relevant system needs strict sh compatibility). But better bash's weird arrays than none at all, plus process substitution is handy.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 1 points 1 day ago

Its a program wrapper, and eases a lot of string buffoonery that real languages take too seriously. So I think its invaluable to programmers in that regard

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was going to say that, according to wikipedia, the creator of bash was heavily involved in open source software, including founding 2 non-profits to promote open source election systems, which would make them a radical leftist, but then i remembered that Donald Trumps favorite app is open source

[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It's not open source by choice. In fact, they tried breaching the license to keep it closed source.

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If they tried to steal the code of mastodon, it means they admire it

[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It just means they are lazy and have no respect for other people's intellectual property.

[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 day ago

Google hbomberguy plagiarism