Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.
this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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All ya doubters sound like Joe Rogan on a chimp rant right now. Gorilla glazers....
The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he's finished with him.
I think he's on to something... In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.
Sounds like an average minimum wage jog tbh.
What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?
Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human's chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.
Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
Assuming Anon has an estate to put in order... smh my head.
Look, Jim-Bob needs to know whether he's getting to contents of that trailer or not.
Don't forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.
I say let him. We really don't need people like this anyway.
Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.
This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
In his defense, you only have to run at 20mph for about a step as you'd be slowing down pretty fast.
Your torso and face certainly make for an effective, if slightly messy, brake.
running at 12mph on a treadmill is scary and fucking exhausting.
Yeah, I used to be able to do 1 mile flat out at about 9 mph, then I'm toast.
I did 1 mi. in 7:19 today.
I have done 9.2 mph in some 1-2 minute sprints for HIIT.
I'd want somewhere soft to land (when the treadmill threw me) and a first aid team ready if I were to even attempt 12 mph!
yeah I was 15 years younger when I tried it and it was just a novelty.
Prove it.
Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.
if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.
If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.
Sounds like you need a bigger gun for each hand.
.500 Smith and Wesson in each hand aught to do it.
Just make sure you land the first shot center mass, cause by the third you’re gonna be shooting at planes.
You will no longer have wrists, of course, but that is a small price to pay for victory.
I have actually shot a .480 ruger. I think I’ll pass on the .500. The gorilla won’t need to do anything because I will have already offed myself trying to shoot those things one handed.
That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people
The gorilla only needs to land one blow though, or even just bite your hand.
They're pretty telegraphed, but you don't get iframes in real life. All the gorilla needs to do is sweep his arms and grab you and then he can just rip you apart.
I'd fight a gorilla, and win.
It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
Insert Planet of the Apes intro.
I've seen a chimp with an AK.
I wouldn't want to fight a gorilla with a PKM.
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Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they're smaller than an adult man wtf!
Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.
It's good to set realistic goals to motivate your workout.
Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
nah but anon is built different
Yes, wrong mostly.
Especially in the head department.
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The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.
Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.
Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.
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"reflexes similar to my speed"
Haha this is a classic French copypasta which is 20 years old and has just been translated by anon.
It is even cited in the French "copypasta" Wikipedia article in the examples section: https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copypasta
TL;DR: French and fake and gay
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I got dunk and decide I could beat a brick wall in a fist fight once.
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