this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 55 points 1 week ago (9 children)

someone, at some point, took the biggest dump in history. and didn't even know it

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 8 points 1 week ago

My $ is that it’s been someone in the last 30 years who is a big eater with an opiate habit.

They suspected. They couldn't confirm it.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

``Doesn't seem fair if you count diarrhea. All that water weight.

If so, it's probably someone with cholera

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pffffft...

Those are rookie numbers

I can do that in a year when my IBS is flaring up

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Fisting with IBS, hey?

I thought cooking bacon naked was playing dangerous games.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm the fister rather than the fistee

I've given it a shot (I'm no hypocrite) but it didn't really excite me

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I’ve never fisted or been fisted but the size of some of my Bad Dragon dildos prolly counts

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They're surprisingly different experiences

Especially because I can change the shape of my hand once it's in

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

That’s fair! Dynamic shape is cool, but so are knots and flares!

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

You load 3.5 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in shit

St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go

My toilet over-flows on the company floor

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Rookie numbers

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

OP is full of shit.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Mom look im finally above average

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

How many miles of feces? Are we talking to the scale of as long as the Panama canal, the length of New York, around the equator, or to the moon (and back)?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

The average density of human feces is approximately 1.06 grams per milliliter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_feces

Normal stool (Type 4) typically has a diameter of about 1 to 2 cm http://d2xk4h2me8pjt2.cloudfront.net/webjc/attachments/73/57bbee4-bristol-stool-chart.pdf

Radius = 0.75 cm

Density = 1.06 g/cm³

Mass = 3,500,000 g

Volume = 3,500,000 / 1.06 = ~3,301,887 cm³

Cross-sectional area = π × 0.75² = ~1.767 cm²

Length = 3,301,887 / 1.767 = ~1,868,000 cm = 18,680 m = 18.7 km

So 18.7km or 11.6 miles

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That would depend on the tightness of the anus

Are we talking about someone who squeezes out pencils, or a log-dropper?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Irrelevant. We roll them into ISO standard poo diameter after excretion

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Those are rookie numbers!

[–] Goretantath@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

3 and a half metric shit tons.

[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 5 points 1 week ago

I feel like I'm trending in line to make at least like 6 metric tons of shit. 3.5 seems low.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago

I'm going for the high score

[–] Numenor@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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My uncle knocks that out every leap year. 3,5 tons ain’t shit.

[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago

Was an outlier and will not be included in this study.

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

How much cum?

[–] eaterofclowns@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe you do; I produce far more feces by replying to comments on the internet

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[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago

And a smidgeon or three of PFAS and plastics and heavy metals.

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