this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025

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434

They're here to save your soul (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 16 points 6 days ago

Cum with us!

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Becca and Spencer and some faint gray streaks on white background.

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 177 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Nah. They're shopping for a third.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 83 points 1 week ago (3 children)

More specifically, a handmaid.

[–] supercriticalcheese@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What type of... handjobs?

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

The kind of jobs where you use your hands to do all of their housework for them for free while bearing the husband's children.

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[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Nah, they're Mormons. They're actually this crazy

[–] VirgilMastercard@reddthat.com 104 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Spencer definitely wants to film his wife being nailed by another man

[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 62 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He wants to be the one to jump on the bed.

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago

We can only assume that if soaking isn't premarital sex, then it can't be extramarital sex either.

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I'll go to your church, you come to my orgy. Fair is fair, right?

[–] 6nk06@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Imagine the uproar if you went to a church and said "you're so prudish, you need to fuck more, come to Tinder."

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

Joseph Smith: "No need to make them exclusive."

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[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 52 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Ah yes because Jesus was known for his condescending, judgmental attitudes against others.

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[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Can bukake be used as a baptism if it happens in a church?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The church I grew up believed in immersion, not sprinkling. It's not a no, but it's gonna be more difficult.

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Logistical problems aside, if it’s a non-Newtonian fluid, it’s going to be an issue.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 6 days ago

We'll deal with them walking on it if and when it happens

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

I am church contracted cum supplier, noseplugs sold separately

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[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If I saw this in the wild, I'd immediately hire the most attractive single person I could find to reply to this ad, go to church with them, and low-key try to have sex with either/both of them on the side

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[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

my partner and I did some butthole fingering at midnight up against a church the year we started dating

we’ve been together for 13 years

thank you jesus

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's called the loophole!

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If the loophole works it means God is okay with gay sex

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 6 days ago

Why do you think he put the prostate up there? 🤭

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Weird way of looking for a threesome with another threesome but okay.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 week ago

The sound like the second most insufferable couple ever, right after the couple that is going through a very public breakup right now.

[–] dylanmorgan@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Would. Both of them.

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 week ago (6 children)

But you guys will put out after Church, right?

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[–] M137@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

*this is a real offer to cum with us!!

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I'm willing to go to church on her, not interested in the guy though

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[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

i dont care if you call him "little extra jesus", spencer, PUT HIM AWAY IN CHURCH

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

No thanks, Satan gave me a good deal for mine.

[–] kubica@fedia.io 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Disgusting.

[–] klu9@piefed.social 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've got nothing against their kind per se, but do they have to shove it down our throats?

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