this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] misunderstooddemon@reddthat.com 12 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Do you want a sissy femboy bottom, because that's how you get one.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago

Wait til you read that second-last sentence about taking it off at seminary

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago

People post this kind of stuff in the reviews for every kinky item on Amazon, I've never understood the compulsion to share your fic in that medium but I guess some folks gotta write when the inspiration hits 'em...

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 22 points 1 day ago

That poor kid. I hope this is fictional and was written for the lulz.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] UnculturedSwine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 83 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He probably like:

  • New Fetish Unlocked
  • New Trauma Unlocked
[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 30 points 1 day ago

"My body is a MACHINE that turns TRAUMA into SEXUAL FETISHES!"

[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 100 points 1 day ago (3 children)

That's one way to learn lock picking I guess

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 6 points 13 hours ago

"This is the lock picking lawyer, and today we're going to Free Willie!"

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 53 points 1 day ago

It is imperative that the cylinder not be damaged

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (2 children)

...and what i have for you today, is...

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago

"Let's do that again to make sure that it wasn't a fluke..."

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 55 points 1 day ago (2 children)

10 years ago, we need an update on how fucked up he is.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 1 points 13 hours ago

Did he go to seminary school?

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 70 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He works for the Trump administration now.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmings.world 2 points 13 hours ago

He's that 22 year old counter-terrorism czar.

[–] Hotzilla@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, he is one of the doge kids

[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 77 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

My brain is fried. How sarcastic is this ?

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 13 hours ago

On a scale of 0-11, yes.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I am not sure this is sarcastic. I would not be surprised if this was a real product, used to abuse a child in the US. Americans are that kind of crazy.

[–] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 75 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean it's a real product.... But usually it's a different kind of mommy. Or daddy, I don't judge. I mean unless you're the actual parent, in which case I judge harshly.

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[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

The product is real, is a chastity lock and is a sex stuff, usually by dommes on her submissive partners.

And about the veracity of the review, I don’t know, I hope it is fake, but I remember reading many years ago a case were a woman was charged with child abuse for putting anal plugs on her son “to avoid the devil entering the child’s body through the anus”.

[–] Sergio@slrpnk.net 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You can tell the review is fake bc they didn't capitalize the words "The Lord".

[–] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago

Also

[Review] by james schreiber

but also

...since his father left me...

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not everyone in a cage has a domme

[–] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I didn’t said “everyone”.

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[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Kind of Karen actually.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Probably? While it's weird and gross enough to current sensibilities to be sarcasm, these devices were absolutely used to prevent masturbation for several decades in the US so...who the fuck knows...?

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

these devices were absolutely used to prevent masturbation for several decades in the U

...what? I thought it's a fetish thing exclusively.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 day ago

Nope! Medical knowledge was very anti-masturbation for a long time. Devices like this, genital mutilation, and corn flakes (no, really) were all popularized in the US by Dr. Kellogg to prevent masturbation.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

This particular thing I dunno but we did some horrific shit and allowed other shit even if it wasn't super common.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

If only there was a horrible watermark that dances around to always overlap with the subject.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

I guess TikTok as the watermark says

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[–] noride@lemm.ee 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bet it barely even slows him down.

[–] passepartout@feddit.org 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Might as well give him a fetish over time.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Exactly! And what a great kink to have!

[–] Townlately@feddit.nl 20 points 1 day ago

Health and beauty

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 17 points 1 day ago

Date 2015. I hope you are free now. (Also fake)

[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

8 year is more than enough, he can cut the cage any time lol.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Or pick the lock. Super easy.

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[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

Lmao,you had me in the first 90%

[–] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Ewwwwwwwewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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