this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

Bond. James Bo- hack cough wheeze rasp gasp... cough hack wheeze stumbling fatly

[–] Nangijala 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Would have said Danny DeVito, but we all know he would be the perfect James Bond.

[–] Asswardbackaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Nangijala 3 points 3 days ago

I'm too lazy xD

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I'd watch the fuck out of that.

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[–] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 7 points 2 days ago

Sadly he's no longer with us, but Andre the Giant.

[–] WiseScorpio@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Michael Cena

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago
[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 63 points 4 days ago (4 children)
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[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Rebel Wilson. Shit wait they already did that movie. Uhhh Rowan Atkinson. Oh God dammit nevermind they did that one to. Okay okay, hold on, I have the perfect one. We get Larry the Cable Guy, but it's not actually him, he reprises his role as, get this, Mater from the Cars universe! Oh wow I really suck at this.

[–] callouscomic@lemmy.zip 32 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

You win 🤢

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[–] KingOogaBooga@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sadly he is dead but, Gilbert Godfrey would be perfect.

[–] Grabthar@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Shit, didn't have to read past the first comment to find the first name that popped into my head. Agreed, he would be terrible. And yet, I have a feeling I'd still watch the shit out of it.

[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 80 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 76 points 4 days ago (6 children)
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[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 71 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Michael Cera. He does a good job, but the whole time you're waiting for him to do his "awkward teenager" character.

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[–] WraithGear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Neil Breen.. remember, eyes on Breen

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 20 points 4 days ago

James Corden

[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 28 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Larry David.

Imagine him losing his shit over the smallest incovenience and start cursing all over the bond girl

[–] GoodMonson@lemmy.zip 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

“Come on. You have me tied down to a table with a laser slowly moving towards me, do you really need your henchmen wearing tuxedos? Look at him, it doesn’t match what is happening right now, why is he so dressed up? Plus he looks uncomfortable. He can barely move around cause it’s not even fitted well to him.

Come on. Let him wear something more casual. He’s already doing all your dirty work, risking his life. He can wear something more loose fitting.

Oh I’m being an asshole? You think I’m the one that’s… well then ask him. Go ahead and ask him what he would actually prefer and do it without a threatening tone and let’s see what he says.”

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I can't decide if Danny DeVito would be perfect or awful for this, but it'd be hella entertaining.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] tino@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Woody Harrelson

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago
[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 48 points 4 days ago (7 children)
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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Ronald Reagan. not like when he was alive either.

dig up his corpse and make the fuckin movie.

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[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] pachrist@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Just recast a Bond movie from Pineapple Express.

James Franco would be worse than Seth Rogen as Bond, because he'd take any sexually aggressive scenes too seriously.

So Seth Rogen gets to be M, Danny McBride is Q, and Amber Heard is the Bond girl.

Kind of fits, in a shitting the bed kind of way.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago (3 children)
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[–] Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] tgirlschierke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 4 days ago (3 children)
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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 33 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

I thought of another one:

Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer are...Jane Bond(s)

(Because they rebooted it, and now there are two of them, but they're ladies with vaginas. But they totally still fart and stuff, too!)

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[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 34 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My pick for the new James Bond

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 14 points 4 days ago (3 children)
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[–] Snailpope@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago (5 children)
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