this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
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transcription: when your kink comes up in a vanilla conversation and you have to act shocked and appalled

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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Stay true to you. People are going to judge, if not for this, then for that. The upside is that by being upfront about your interests, your chances of finding like minded people is greater.

I have many positive stories that have come from being upfront, and not a single one from keeping my mouth shut.

[–] erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 week ago

oh i have no problem sharing all my kinks, i just choose my time and place :3

[–] anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that's a nice way to get fired from my job

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's illegal and in most cases you'd win the lawsuit.

[–] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

For the love of God do not take this as legal advice. Different places have different rules.

In the US, for example, most states have "at will" employment where employees can be fired at any time with no stated reason.

In the US employers can prohibit workplace discussion of any subject that is deemed to create a hostile work environment or interfere with work.

You will not win a wrongful termination lawsuit "in most cases". You will not be able to prove you were discriminated against in any way "in most cases". You would probably win in cases where you can prove your rights were violated... and that's not a guarantee.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

100%. Never take legal advice from internet strangers. Consult an actual attorney. This applies to both sides of this argument.

My company is based in Texas, an "at will" state. If, as the meme implies, someone else started discussing a kink and proceeded to "be vanilla" (I read that as judgemental) to the point where you feel compelled to act appalled, then they are creating a hostile environment. I know this because I actually hired employment attorneys for my companies and most of our clients require new contractors to watch training videos that cover this. DO NOT bring up your kink in random conversation though as you would be the one creating a hostile environment. Either way, "at will" does not supersede anti-discrimination laws.

As should be obvious, in order to sue, you will need proof and you should maintain a detailed record of your experiences as they happen.

Once again. Talk to a lawyer.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lawsuits are famously very expensive, especially for someone who is now unemployed.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's not true. For slam dunk discrimination lawsuits like this would be, you would likely not pay a dime to the lawyer. They would sue, settle, and keep a percentage of the settlement.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Lawyers are expensive, dude.

And I can only speak for the US, but that shit is not "slam dunk" at all these days.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

Yes and no. I have a lot of different types attorneys on retainer (employment, trademark, copyright, patent, etc) and they are very expensive. For cases like this though, you can definitely find someone that would do it for a cut.

[–] monogram@feddit.nl 3 points 1 week ago

America land of the free

God, I hate when this happens. Even in kink communities 🫣

[–] Ashenlux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 week ago

Especially when your kink is on the weirder, lesser known, and accepted side.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 18 points 1 week ago

I should just buy a monsterfucker shirt

[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

i jus act like i kno whads up n pretend i kno som peep online