Then you have a kid and you spend the rest of your life
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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If kids are creme pies, and kids grow up to be adults, then we are all creampies.
You sure are there, squirt.
HAH
I'm lab grown
Ooh let's come up with a nickname for your kind... you're a test tube baby, so a tuber 🥔🍠 (potato emojis)
or
You! Tuber!
We are all cream pies on this blessed day
every year when everybody has birthday parties, everybody should serve creampies instead of birthday cakes. Because of the symbolism.
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It's an awkward scary part of our life. Fierce competition. Won by pure luck.
Not long after our first breath of air we start regretting our life choices.
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👌👌👌
Socially acceptable, How about this song from the classy 1920s:
"Oh I got nipples on my titties the size of my thumb
I got sumthin' between my legs that'll make a man cum"
I don't remember the last rest of the lyrics but damn what a banger
You left out the part of the lyrics where the man is dead.
Well, not anymore
sang by Nicky Minaj
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yes that's what euphemisms are for
You can say anything you want to anyone, but there's usually a better way to say it.
I just like that someone is getting laid every night and that is part of their best life. In fact, I assumed the hot messy creampie woman is managing her fertility as she sees fit.
Also jizz is totally a drug. Dopemine, I think.
And yet the doctor tells me I have to stop snorting jizz because it's "bad for my lungs". Like, ok narc smh
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My wife got pregnant on our first try. Yes, I am that potent.
I love when this post/thought pops up because it just outs people who have no idea how pregnancy works.
What about this is not how pregnancy works, exactly?
Mostly the "every night" part. There are only about 6 days a month when women can get pregnant iirc. And unless she's getting a random train of dudes, there's pretty significant diminishing returns on repeated loads (not that they hurt, mind you). It's just kind of a childish comparison.
Well that's complicated. A LOT of people who can get pregnant don't have regular cycles, don't have predictable ovulation, don't know or have all the regular signs of ovulation, etc, that make tracking fertile periods tough. They are also people who bleed during ovulation, or have sporadic bleeding throughout their cycle, or bleed frequently from sex, all of which can confound predicting ovulation.
To compound that, sperm can live up to 5 days in the receivers reproductive tract extending a typical ovulation period to 11 days. https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/sperm-and-semen-faq
I don't see how that means they don't know how pregnancy works. Yeah, you could track it, or you could just cover all possibilities.
If you are trying to be efficient about it and/or are having difficulties. For the majority of people, forgoing birth control and doing it every other day is more than enough to get pergnant.
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For real. Is the stork just chopped liver?
And no one mentions the clapping shells!
Or the incubation tanks!
What.
"people", in this instance, are evidently you, which is ironically why we need more than half-assed sex ed
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We live in a susiety.
And when they do get pregnant I'm the asshole for saying "congratulations on your successful ejaculation!"
I'll take girl #1, Pat.
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