this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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Happy Pride Month! πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ

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[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 68 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Can anyone recommend a good cock for beginners?

[–] Red0ctober@lemmy.world 39 points 10 months ago

How about mine?

For packing or inserting?

[–] fiercekitten@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

Get the "Cocks for Dummies" book. It's fantastic and includes a starter cock.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 7 points 10 months ago

I find it's best to start with a small starter cock, such as the Little Richard.

[–] Hexarei@programming.dev 4 points 10 months ago

Your mom's lol

[–] Ranvier@sopuli.xyz 54 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I know it's a shit post, but for anyone not aware the FBI used to assist in the persecution of lgbt people and engage in all sorts of surveillance including infiltrating lgbt rights organizations.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/xg8dzn/-the-fbi-secretly-tracked-gay-activists-in-the-60s

https://outhistory.org/exhibits/show/fbi-history/2010-2019

So it's not only a shit post, but a shit post pointing out some very important recent history.

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Thank you for sharing.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

A reminder that we need to take privacy seriously.

[–] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 months ago

James Webb was on the same side as the persecutors. How many NASA careers got cut short because of him?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 44 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Its true, I spent many nights undercover in gay bars, trying to identify homosexual men by whether or not they moaned when I sucked their dicks in the bathroom stall.

[–] Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 months ago

Ah geez, better get back to it.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Jokes on you, I'm a sovereign citizen

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Send the FBI a straight coupon that says you can pay in no-homo blowjobs and see how that goes.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I don't recognise the fbi as an entity something, something maritime law

[–] wavebeam@lemmy.world 7 points 10 months ago

β€œYou’re a crook Captain Hook Judge won’t you throw the book At the PIRAAAATE…”

[–] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

But maritime law is where the mandatory gayness comes from. Haven't you ever seen the Navy?

[–] snake_case_lover@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Mr. electric send him to the principals office and have him expelled!

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Flirty Bisexual Interrogations

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 months ago

Fisting-Brunch Intersectionalities

[–] Veedem@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Heard it on News Max. Must be true.

[–] name_NULL111653@pawb.social 9 points 10 months ago

"Real news for real people!" Yeah totally...

ΠŸΡ€Π°Π²Π΄Π°...

[–] Marketsupreme@lemm.ee 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] jobby@lemmy.today 3 points 10 months ago

Maximum Nudes (men)

[–] kayos@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Do I go straight to gay jail or straight to straight jail?

[–] tjsauce@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You go gay to straight jail, obviously!

[–] lugal@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

If they are gay, they go to no jail at all

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

All jails are gay, nothing to worry about

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The sad thing is, some people really believe this.

Oh wait, no they don't. They're just waging a culture war on the LGBTQ+ community by making things up like the "gay agenda".

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The gay agenda is playing the latest video games, surviving work, and eating Taco Bell.

[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 8 points 10 months ago

A bunch of freaks.

[–] TxzK@lemmy.zip 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Jokes on you. I'm bisexual

[–] ssm@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 10 months ago

does that mean you're going to half-jail? maybe community service?

[–] Rustmilian@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Do asexuals go to jail? Or do we get an honorary a gay card?

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's only illegal to be straight, so the aces should be fine.

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

I guess I'm fine then (an aroace)

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Don't take this lightly, friends. I was already rounded up by the LGBTQ-agenda and dragged to Quantico for questioning by drag queens and people who identified as cats. There was literally a litter box in the corner of the interrogation room. A bit awkward, really.

Then they beat me up and made me kiss men while they oiled me up for a sensual massage. The horrors!

I finally ratted on a few friends who are straight and they let me go so long as I promised to suck dick from now on. It's gonna be tough telling my partner she has to move out eleven months of the year, but I can't go back. My apt is now painted in rainbows for safety. Surely, they won't black-bag me and disappear me when they see that, right? Can night vision goggles make out the colors of the rainbow? They can't? Oh, shit…

^^ This was all /s, of course.

Happy pride month, everybody! Let's throw it in their bigoted faces.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 10 months ago

Listen, the cat people, they are not with us. I mean, it's not as bad and when they try to push pedophiles into our group, sure. The cat people are mostly harmless. But still, I must stress, the cat-identifying people are not allowed in the alphabet.

[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well I'm not gay, but I am pan, though. Do I count or should I go turn myself in?

[–] return2ozma@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You're one of us. You're safe

[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yay! I'm a part of something! :D

[–] Holzkohlen@feddit.de 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Gooble Gobble We accept them!

[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Gooble Gobble

?

[–] boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well I mean..a mouth is a mouth, right?!

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Everyone is beautiful in the dark.

[–] downhomechunk@midwest.social 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I dreamt about blowing a guy once when I was a teenager. Does that qualify me as a gay?

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[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I used to be straight but now im gay I think that law made me this way.

https://g.co/kgs/dJqwkta

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