this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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Explain Like I'm Five

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This story seems to have faded in the wake of events ad nauseam. We are all aware of Senor Luigi. However, most folks can’t recall the full name of the guy that allegedly Luigi gunned down. Mission accomplished.

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

I think the guy he allegedly killed, had a name that started with.... I think it was a d? David? Derek? Dddddouchebag. Douchebag, yeah. I think the person that died was a massive douchebag.

That seems right to me ....

[–] mambabasa@slrpnk.net 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Luigi didn't do it though. He's being set up by the prosecution.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I know, I was certainly spending time with him during the alleged attack. He couldn't have done it while sat across from me at that diner, many miles away from where the crime happened.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

You're thinking of dinner. A diner is a place that serves food.

[–] ipitco@lemmybefree.net -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Source? It sounds like a conspiracy theory based on nothing

What indicates that would be the case? Who would be the murderer?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There was no murderer. He died of natural causes

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

After all, shootings are just a natural part of life.

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think the guy he killed

Allegedly 😉

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Downvoted only for the winky face. I earnestly believe the guy is innocent and unrelated

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Oh shit same here, the winky face wasn't meant to imply otherwise. Was more like "hey now, let's be clear on what's what"

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Oh right, let me correct my wording.

Thanks.

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Did someone light a match? Is he being cremated?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world -1 points 2 weeks ago

I'm pretty sure it was Bob. Or Brad. Billy? Bitchass! Yes it was definitely Bitchass.