this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Why do you have morning wood at a public toilet

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I cannot believe my morning erections are being judged by trash girlfriend.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am literally trash girlfriend and Ive never had morning wood at a public toilet

I feel like if I judge you its gotta be a good reason at that point

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One day you will go to a public toilet to realize you have morning wood, then you will understand the struggle.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Waking up in a public toilet does sound fun but since Ive taken estrogen I dont ger morning wood often

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

so you saying the real solution for peeing with morning wood is estrogen?

i would transition but there's no ikea near me for the mandatory Blahaj.

[–] SuDmit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you mean... You wood transition?

I guess wood is inescapable

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can order both the blahaj and the estrogen online

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I guess I'm trans now, hopefully there are no social/political consequences for being trans in this precise moment in history in the United States.

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm now on the side that everyone needs to sit down to pee. but as a compromise, everyone is allowed to go number 2 standing up

[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If we could simply choose when we got erections, high school would have been much less awkward

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

You or your classmates must have been quite bad at hiding them. I never noticed anyone having an erection in school and I never felt sexually attracted to anyone there either.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

how the fuck do you piss with wood anyways? just wait 5 minutes

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Proceeds to pee like the guy in Upload

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i was really impressed by the window trick

I like that some developer in that series went out of their way to ensure they could do not wrong when peeing. Out the window.. 100% no splash

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

brother if you got wood how tf are you peeing sitting down. That shit pointing up

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If it's pointing up, how the fuck you hit the bowl standing up?

[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You step back real far and lean forward, stabilize with your hand on the tank. It might take a lil practice but it's light years better than trying to bend it down

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 month ago

You can lean forward even better starting from a sitting position, chest down, hips up with slight rotation.

Leaning and hoping your hand doesn't go through the drywall. Luckily for me by the time I gained weight I didn't have the morning issues all the time.

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Billy Finn enters the chat

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 0 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Yes, even with morning wood. Just lean a bit forward. It's not that hard.

if it wasn't that hard there wouldn't be a problem to begin with

[–] BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But pp touch toilet bowl = bad

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 0 points 1 month ago

That's why I'm saying go lean forward. Come on guys, it's not that difficult..

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not sure if you have a short dick or just very soft boners, but that's a absolutely not possible for many men.

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe it's US toilets. It's statistically average and I've rarely had any issues. Still better than the spray while standing up.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

WHY ARE SO FEW US TOILETS LONG BOYS

[–] Strider@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Well you and me know that but his thing is just so enormous we can not comprehend.

(aka excuses)

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This is too absurd to even critique