this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.

On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.

Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!

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[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I worked in pediatric urology so I'll give you their perspective first. The urologist's assistant said the thing to do is assess honestly whether you'll keep up with your child's hygiene, if you are comfortable ensuring they'll clean their foreskin as they grow up. My friend says she really had to stand over her son and tell him to wash his penis again and again. Boys are not the best at hygiene sometimes, so as long as you are comfortable ensuring he does so, don't circumcise. If you don't think you'll be comfortable with that, be realistic, because boys get what's called phimosis where the foreskin becomes stuck and doesn't retract, and while there's a cream called betnovate you can apply to relieve this, if it becomes chronic and there's scarring, having circumcision as an older child is much more of an ordeal, as they have to go under general anesthesia. These are the pros and cons.

I think circumcision is a bad idea and don't recommend it myself because I've heard a baby crying during one personally and that's horrifying, but this is what the medical reality of it is, so be honest with yourself about what you can do as a parent. It's honestly a terrible thing for them to go through without anesthesia as well. Bullying be damned, anyone who is offended by a normal penis isn't worth your time anyway.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This is a really bad advise, IMO. Just teach your kids proper hygiene. Cutting piece of them off because you're lazy is a horrible idea.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm giving the answers the urology group told me, and also what I think. I am not saying do it, and I did say I don't agree with it.

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So that's what you think but don't agree with? Look, however you justify it, you're the one going around telling people they should chop their kid's foreskin if they're lazy. All I'm saying is consider not doing that, laziness is not a valid reason to mutilate your kid.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

You're not reading this clearly.

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