this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 166 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

[–] hinterlufer@lemmy.world 55 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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[–] moonlight@fedia.io 111 points 2 weeks ago (11 children)
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

[–] lena@gregtech.eu 28 points 2 weeks ago

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Just have us piss from asshole

[–] kryptonidas@lemmings.world 23 points 2 weeks ago

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 61 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
[–] scops@reddthat.com 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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[–] deo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

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[–] Meowstermind@slrpnk.net 46 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 weeks ago

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

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[–] T156@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (13 children)

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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[–] callyral@pawb.social 33 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Well, we do glow in infrared...

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 32 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)
  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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[–] Sebbe@lemmy.sebbem.se 30 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

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[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 29 points 2 weeks ago

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light

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[–] tiny@midwest.social 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 12 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Wait, you can't eat and breathe through the same hole?

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (8 children)

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

[–] kopasz7@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

[–] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe we could get rows like sharks

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[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Casually forgot about cancer

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

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[–] TDCN 23 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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[–] WrenFeathers@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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[–] executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] brokenlcd@feddit.it 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

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[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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[–] philpo@feddit.org 18 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

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[–] nthavoc@lemmy.today 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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[–] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Saltwater consumption when????

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[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that "deleting gay gene" or "breeding smart people" pseudo science garbage.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I think life would be a little better if we cranked up the gay gene. Y'all know how to party.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 2 weeks ago

Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 14 points 2 weeks ago

Mosquitos are not humanity though.

[–] aaa@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 20 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

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