Programmer Humor

this is perl erasure

also php didn't cause the internet to suck; overreliance on javascript (and js based frameworks) did. there's a reason that modern internet is so slow and clunky and it's not php. at least php has the capabibility to improve over time not degrade.

PHP will remain alive as long Wordpress is still being used.

Let's be honest though. The early PHP versions were absolute dog shit. And the definition of how not to design a programming language. That said, that never stopped anyone in web development from using it apparently. No clue what modern PHP looks like, apparently it's better now.

In PHPs defense, it keeps evolving in positive, meaningful ways. If you are up to date with it, it’s quite sophisticated and enjoyable. Doubly so if you use a framework like Laravel.

Ah yes, the language that picked strlen as the hash function for its hashtables.

Everyone in this thread: PHP sucks because it was bad when I last used it 20 years ago.

Array_filter and array_map having the arguments swapped pisses me of so much.!

PHP will never die. As long as code is written there will be PHP developers there to claim it's good now.

Where I live, I still see people in a horse-drawn wagon. So, I guess horse-drawn wagons never died? It's only used for tourists and weddings, but that counts, right?

According to Tiobe, PHP was the programming language of the year in 2004. In 2010 it was number 3 in the top 10 programming languages. It's now out of the top 10 entirely. There really isn't a language that has completely disappeared. Mainframes are still programmed using COBOL, Scientists are still using FORTRAN, even Lisp, which has been around since the 1950s, is still going strong.

Maybe Actionscript counts as truly dead, since it was tied to Adobe Flash, and Flash is truly dead?

I have a lot of bad memories of PHP. It was, for a brief time, the main language I used, but it was so ugly and inconsistent. The only thing I loved about it, at the time, was that it wasn't Visual Basic. As bad as PHP was, at least I wasn't making web pages in that pile of hot garbage. But, I never felt joy writing something in PHP. At best it was a slog. At worst it was like pulling teeth.

Just about every other language has given me moments of fun. Original Javascript was a mess, but it already contained scheme-like features. It was sold as being an interpreted version of Java, but it had features that Java wouldn't have for at least a decade. C is a brutal and unforgiving language, but as long as you're not working with strings, it's great to have such low-level control over everything.

Maybe PHP has evolved like other languages, but I still am not interested in trying it out. Everything it was good at can be done better by other languages, and those are languages that give me joy, not pain. I hope it keeps dropping in the rankings so that people aren't exposed to it as one of their first languages.

my entire way of reasoning about programming languages changed when i read on article about how hating on php was misogynistic. i clicked on it because it just sounded like yet another ragebait, but it made sense.

basically, since php is simple, and integrated with html, the vast majority of php devs started out as designers who later got into code. since php has always been a mess, nobody wanted to build mainstream tooling for it except the people actively working with the language. this means that mainstream ideas about language and tooling design didn't percolate down to php like it has done to most languages. so php devs, when exposed to tooling the rest of the world takes for granted, are usually overwhelmed because not only is there a lot of it, nobody in php-land uses tools like that. so they get called bad devs of a bad language. some of them, who really like to code, push through this massive difficulty spike, while others just assume that "actual programming" is too hard and go back to design, even though tooling usage has little to do with your skill as a programmer.

the kicker, of course, being that web design has more women than most other dev specialisations.

Js is dead use php!

Happy 44th birthday IPv4! 🥳

bro ive been doing fullstack js dev for severals years to then realize php is superior💀

Well, at least PHP isn’t as bad as JSP.

Replaced the P in LAMP with Python when I started building webpages again a few years ago, and never looked back. Such a vastly more pleasant experience.

It's old and ugly, the worst tool you can use for anything, and unkillable.

Maybe 25 years ago i build my first website for a paying customer ( my dad). I decided to go for php which was new to me at the time.

I figured it would be too risky ( even back then) to have PHP generate dynamic pages so instead I had php generate static html.

So whenever website needed updating , for example a new folder with images was added, you could just load the admin.php and it would generate gallery pages for you.

Would probably still work 25 year later if wasn't eventually replaced with some WordPress or something

It's true that the fuckers that stayed in PHP now are getting paid insane amounts of money to maintain systems? I've heard they are the new cobol people.