this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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Science Memes

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A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



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[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 108 points 1 week ago (14 children)

Everyone who’s dealt with kids knows you have to bisect the giraffe equally from nose to tail so everyone gets 2 legs, or somebody will cry that it’s unfair.

[–] pfwood178@sh.itjust.works 101 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Everyone who deals with scientists knows they assume a perfectly spherical, frictionless, giraffe.

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 49 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

lol a giraffe would never fit in my vacuum.

[–] PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You have to remember to take the Elephant out first.

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[–] bulwark@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I let one cut and the other gets to pick first.

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

This is the way. And from experience, it will result in sub-nanometer size differences.

[–] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 10 points 1 week ago

Kids are total commies.

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[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Even if you think height divided by two, why even describe it that way? Giraffes are tall, but not so unfathomably tall that something half its size is incomprehensible. That’s 7-9ish feet. You couldn’t say the size of Andre the Giant?

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Youth Today don't know who that is. Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is? We may never know.

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is?

Just today, I learned a handy way of visualizing the size of a giraffe. If you took that asteroid that struck off the coast of Iceland, and made a copy of it and put the two of them together, that's about the size of a giraffe.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 16 points 1 week ago

If that doesn't get you some Nobel prize, I don't know what will.

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sorry, I need that in dishwashers or ping pong balls

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[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (5 children)
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[–] marcos@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

People usually measure asteroids by mass (but then, those people are already abnormal, so who knows?), if so, it's something around the size of a cow.

Or maybe they could use metric...

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[–] Kirca@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is why real scientists use the only reasonable real world measurement - a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum.

[–] TorJansen@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hmm. Thought they used bananas.

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[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

obviously the scientists meant a spherical giraffe in a vacuum

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[–] seraphine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 week ago (6 children)

americans be using anything but the metric system

[–] kalpol@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 week ago

But they're the sort of British that yearns for the good old days, when we still had shillings and inches and diphtheria and jumpers for goalposts and no womens' rights and all that great British stuff.

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[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Dear gods

How far will these Americans go to not use the metric system... ffs

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sadly they’re not American. Containment has been breached.

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[–] meme_historian@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One standard volume giraffe of course, i.e. the volume in m³ an average giraffe would fill (at room temperature and sea level), when passed through a blender. And then half of that

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The scientists had to go through many more proportionate animals before discovering that half a giraffe was a near perfect match for the size of the asteroid.

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[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Also, most people dont even have a good grasp on how big giraffes are anyways!

I once went to a zoo that had an elevated platform extending into the giraffe's habitat so that you could stand face to face with them. Their heads are as big as a normal human, like 5 feet from crown to chin!

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[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love it when I can understand your memes!

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ask questions when you do not. :)

[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh I wouldn’t begin to know what to even ask. I’m a music major lol. But if I think of something, I’ll pipe up.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Start with where you are, others will be there too. :)

[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago

Thanks! I’ll do that.

[–] absentbird@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So like the size of a horse?

The average horse is about half the height and weight of the average giraffe. Giraffes are just a really bad unit of measurement, males weight about 400kg more than females and there is a wide height difference over their global population, they are technically four different species we just all call giraffe 🦒

[–] buttnugget@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I was just going to say, what kind of weird ass size comparison is that. It’s almost as egregious as saying “half the size of two apples”.

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[–] passenger@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 week ago

Reads Daily Mail clickbait, proceeds to blame "scientists"

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 week ago

The Daily Mail readership will not fathom your question. It is a rag for those who would follow MAGA but want to appear intelligent without have either the natural talent or putting in any work to increase knowledge. Baseline racism is a requirement

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

And is it half the volume, mass or a dimension? Because I've never tried neither blending or carrying a giraffe before (I never got invited to those parties in uni) so I have no grasp on volume or mass.

[–] BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Surely a giraffe is nearly uniform density making the distinction between volume and mass irrelevant

Assume a spherical giraffe.

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[–] territorial@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 week ago

In other words, a large boulder the size of a small boulder

[–] oyfrog@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

The anatomical answer is sagitally down the midline.

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago

I’m surprised they didn’t use immigrants as the unit.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I don't get why Americans are doing their best to avoid the metric system. It's always weird discriptions. Like dishwashers, or in this case, half a giraffe. Just use bananas if (cubic) meters are too complex.

[–] morkyporky@suppo.fi 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Isn't daily mail in the UK?

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It's not the scientists, it's a single journalist who is popping out these headlines. Some of those caught attention.

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