this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 42 comments
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[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 236 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] YoSoySnekBoi@kbin.earth 47 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

As you should, just as I stole it from another user, who also likely stole it from another, who surely stole it from the user before them.

You carry the torch now, and on it shall go for generations, slowly becoming more and more artifacted from re-uploads to the point of being nigh unreadable!

[–] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Got the best copy, but I had to dip into Facebook to get it -- shudders

[–] LarsIsCool@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Or as text, don't think anything is missed:

The sentence "I never said he licked my asshole" has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Just like the crops, in the Irish famine

[–] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

I am about to find a less cropped version, and I couldn't help but appreciate Gemini explaining the post:

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 week ago

Is that because you were English?

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Love the cropping on the B

It's actually 3etter do you have a fucking problem reading?

[–] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

heat, I like it

[–] radicallife@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm thinking 8 as you could stress the ass or the hole

[–] Klear@quokk.au 62 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

Don't tell me what to do.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 4 points 1 week ago

Speak for yourself, if I'm ever in a situation where I'm begging my asshole for forgiveness I need you to put me down

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

You can stress mine, bigboy.

(You'll need to take me out for dinner afterwards. Nothing fancy, some fish and chips will do.)

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 week ago

9 because you could also stress the entirety of asshole

[–] bless@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 week ago

Crop it slowly.

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

7 if you only stress one word, but if you stress two words it gets even better.

[–] Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

I never said he licked my asshole

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Stress all the words!

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Used to think Chinese must be impossible to learn as so much depends on context and very slight "stresses" (forget the word). Now I'm thinking that applies to about any language.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 13 points 1 week ago

Tones is the word, and while Chinese tones are hard they're just part of the pronunciation of a word rather than anything context dependent. The English equivalent would be the stressed syllable in a word, and yes every language has something like this.

[–] EvilCartyen 2 points 1 week ago

It does, it just depends on how it's coded. Like, take word order. If you have a case system with nominative, accusative, etc. your word order can be pretty free, you can move objects to the front of the sentence like 'food-ACC eat I-NOM'.

Remove the case system and it's simpler to encode the words, but word order becomes much more fixed.

All languages are equally complex, in theory at least, but where the complexity lies is different.

[–] blave@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

I’ve definitely said this sentence enough times to know that there are more than seven meanings, especially if you either shout this sentence or whisper it.

[–] bratorange@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago

That fact stresses me immensely.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

9, you could monotone it all, and you could make the last word interrogative.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 6 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Uhm.

I might be missing something, but when I say it out loud I only get 6. I'm not sure which word I'm not stressing either.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

Try saying it louder.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- Someone else said it.
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- I was accused of having said it; I've never said it.
  • I never said he licked me asshole. <-- He licked my asshole, but I didn't talk about it.
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- Someone licked my asshole, but it wasn't him.
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- He did something with my asshole, but it wasn't licking.
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- He licked an asshole, just not mine.
  • I never said he licked my asshole. <-- He licked some part of me, just not my asshole.
[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's never and said that seem to be the identical meaning to me.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Some context might provide the distinction.

  • Adam: "Jane told me that he licked her asshole."

    • Jane: "I never said he licked my asshole." <-- He never licked my asshole, and I never claimed that he did. Adam is lying about both parts.
    • Jane: "I never said he licked my asshole." <-- He licked my asshole, but I never told anyone that he did. Adam learned about the asshole-licking from someone other than me.
[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Also "I never said he licked my asshole" can mean I implied it heavily.

[–] Famko@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Stressing each word gives a different meaning to the sentence and considering that there are 7 words, it means there are possible 7 meanings if you stress one word.

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would argue that stressing "never" or "said" both have the same meaning.

Yeah this is the one that's tripping me up. I fucking hate the only language I speak

[–] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Take this helpful explanation from Gemini:

[–] PagPag@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

This is funny but it would be better if we weren’t all distracted by the absolute shit picture. I tend to just laugh then downvote this garbage effort whether intentional or not.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is why I'm sure spoken English and written English are two different languages. Information is carried through vocal emphasis that the standard alphabet doesn't contain symbols for. Online we often resort to bold or italics or allcaps, whatever is available.

[–] miked@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

Very much so. Ever had a misunderstanding while texting someone? The vocal emphasis is missing.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He never licked my asshole.

He never licked my asshole.

He never licked my asshole.

He never licked my asshole.

He never licked my asshole.

Bonus diagonal emphasis:

He never licked my asshole.