this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
555 points (96.0% liked)

Not The Onion

18439 readers
1516 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Which god we talking here? Not the muslim or christian ones for sure.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

The true American religion. The Church of Capitalism.

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 184 points 1 week ago (5 children)

They wouldn't know "gods plan" if it smacked them in the ass. They're literally worshipping the closest analogue to the Antichrist. These people are violently clueless.

[–] tburkhol@lemmy.world 121 points 1 week ago (9 children)

"God's plan" is literally whatever is happening right now. Got in a car crash? God's plan. Narrowly missed a car crash? God's plan. Cat wakes you at 6am for breakfast? God's plan. This whole comment? God's plan.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

His plan sucks because he made Pedos billionaires. Wait, god might he a pedo. It's his plan afterall. Always watching you like a creep. Dude fits pedo logic 100%. Worshiping pedos, sounds on track for religious nutts.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Mary was only around 14, too

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Australis13@fedia.io 46 points 1 week ago (8 children)

This. Trump literally fits the description of an "antichrist" (lowercase; one of a type) and many of the traits of the definite article (the specific Antichrist) described in the Bible.

But then they're not expecting to be the ones deceived by an antichrist.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 86 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Aaaaaaand this sort of shit is why I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we’re not recovering from this, and that I need to get the fuck out.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] nonentity@sh.itjust.works 71 points 1 week ago (14 children)

Religion is the most destructive human invention.

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 69 points 1 week ago (4 children)

"It's God's plan" is the phrase people use to comfort themselves when disasters happen, so I guess that tracks regarding Trump’s rule.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

In my experience growing up evangelical, it’s as much a plea as it is an assertion.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 56 points 1 week ago (2 children)

America has a Christian Nationalist problem.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

America has an individualism problem and well fuck me running if Christians just happen to be the absolute worst when it comes to the rights of others being of no consequence.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

🌎 🧑‍🚀🔫🧑‍🚀

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 44 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That's because a third of Americans believe everything that happens is part of God's plan because he controls everything good and bad.

[–] mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Yeah, far be it from me to rush to the defense of religion, but this is not quite as scary as it sounds. You could very well have a religious person answering this survey who absolutely hates Trump and thinks he is a force for evil. Like you said, most Christians believe literally every event is part of God's plan (which is quite reasonable given their axioms tbh).

In fact the article clarifies this:

"That survey, of a nationally representative sample of 8,937 Americans from across the U.S., found that overall, 4 percent believed God chose Trump because He believes in his policies, while another 32 percent think Trump’s election is part of God’s plan, although God may not necessarily agree with his program. Nearly half, 49 percent, said God doesn’t get involved in elections, while 14 percent said they don’t believe in God.

When it comes to white evangelicals, those numbers are much higher, with 8 percent believing God ordained Trump because He agrees with his policies, and 63 percent thinking his election is part of God’s plan, whether the deity agrees with his policies or not. Their beliefs held firm with regards to Joe Biden’s election in 2020 with 67 percent of white evangelicals believing his victory was part of God’s plan – but with the stark difference that a negligible percentage believed that God agreed with his policies."

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] hayvan@feddit.nl 40 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I mean for a religious person everything should be god's plan, right?

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] chunes@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

21% of U.S. adults are fully illiterate. Another 33% can't read better than an elementary school student.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 36 points 1 week ago (4 children)

TIL one in three Americans suffer severe mental health disorders.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 0 points 5 days ago

At least one in three. Theres some in the democratic party and independents as well. Its probably at least half.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Unfun fact! Carter tried to establish community mental health care centers across America, but Reagan immediately undid it.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 week ago (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 29 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Daily reminfer that 33% of the US is crazy, and the majority hate Trump.

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Aparently they didnt hate him enough to vote against him.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The more I see shit like this, the more I ask myself, why are we trying to save this?

  • Our legal system has been broken since it's creation.
  • Our representation has never represented us.
  • Peace is an imaginary thing, at best.
  • Calling any country our allies, is a joke.

So what is the point of all this shit?

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The point is that America has managed to make a lot of guys richer than God by allowing them to exploit millions of people

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn’t everything that happens a part of God’s plan? I do not understand the thought process of most Christians.

[–] potoo22@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Everything they agree with is part of God's plan. Everything they don't is the work of the devil. When you can control what is "seen" as God's plan, you can control the population. And anyone who disagrees is under the influence of the devil and an enemy. Basic cult mentality.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Imagine how stupid the average person is and now realize that half of them are dumber than that.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

A third of Americans are incredibly fucking dumb.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Religion should be added to the DSM as a dangerous disorder.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] blave@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

A third of Americans are delusional

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

well, duh?

if you believe in God and you believe God has a plan, then this is part of that plan

how many Christians don't believe God has a plan?

it was God's plan for Charlie Kirkkk to die publicly. it was God's plan for all those school children to die. it is God's plan to abuse and murder non-whites in the US. it is God's plan to have the wealthy and powerful abuse young women and for the masses to protect them

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

So, basically, they're saying God is a colossal asshole. Gotcha.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] DreamAccountant@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Just more proof that everything going on right now is because of religion. They want to control everything and everyone, and punish everyone that doesn't fit their fictional god's plan. Project 2025 exactly.

If you're religious and reading this, fuck you. No really, even though you think you're one of the "good ones", FUCK YOU.

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago (9 children)

To play devil’s advocate (or perhaps God’s advocate?) if you leave behind the relatively recent “God is omniscient, omnipotent, and all-loving” thing, then bad things happening would be part of even a benevolent deity’s plan. That is to say, bad things are going to happen, working to find a balance that works out well in the long run would be the goal.

“God works all things together for the good of those who love and trust in Him” is a commonly misunderstood doctrine. It isn’t that nothing will ever be bad. It’s that even bad things are included in the plan.

(The Mistborn series, especially the third book in the first era and the books in the second era, does a good job with this concept. Also the final book in The Wheel of Time touches on it during the confrontation with the Dark One.)

So theoretically, even a Christian who despises Trump could say Trump’s presidency is “part of God’s plan.”

(But I’m guessing that’s not what most people mean when they say something like this.)

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] MiddleAgesModem@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Pathetic fake fucking Christians

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So is cancer, pedophilia, child starvation and the actual literal devil. What's their point?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago

Well I mean the similarities to the antichrist are uncanny. I can understand the feeling.

load more comments
view more: next ›