Mine is
- Consenting adult
this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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Preferably human
And breathing would be nice
I don't know don't want to feel too picky
Besides, she could just be being friendly. You never know.
I think sapience is a prerequisite to consent, so humans would be the only qualified candidate (native to earth at least)
Cops are pigs yet they can consent
Oh yeah, good point!
- Consenting adult
- Not a cop
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As long as it passes the Harkness test, I’m down.
*Elven women grumble on the sidelines*
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Now, I don't want to be too picky, but her being alive would be nice.
> Hi mom, hi dad! Meet my gf [redacted]!
*whispering*
> Yes, she's a little bit dug up corpse, but don't say that around her: she's kinda sensitive about it.
(Stolen from a random video/podcast)
I also get upset when people say i look like a corpse,
Just because i am one doesn't mean you have to constantly point it out!
I mean, alive, consenting age, not Intellectually disable, not in a coma.. also, we all know can"t be fat
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Female (optional)
Not even that. If they are just feminine thats enough for me
furries have entered the chat
Negotiable...
-ish
Too bad you're cutting off half of human population! ;-)
Yeah op got no chance
Meanwhile, here are my Garfield requirements:
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is an orange cat
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is funny
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is part of a comic strip called "Garfield"
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And girls have the opposite problem. Too many guys out there who are interested, but no way to know which ones are good.
Being a straight man looking for a partner is like dying of thirst in a desert.
Being a straight woman looking for a partner is like dying of thirst at sea.
Is it because sea water is undrinkable?
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Maybe the main problem is that the guys who are interested are solely interested because the girls require their one and only requirement of being, well, female.
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Preferably but negotiable.
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So closed-minded! I'm sure you could loosen a bit this criterium, think of all the cute cat-eared femboys available in your area.
edit: typo
How is this different from a straight guy trying to seduce a lesbian?
Call me crazy, but I think it was just a joke continuing along the lines of OPs "I'm not picky" joke, on a shitpost community, not a serious request to be OP's partner.
Like if I commented "eh if you're fine being less picky, I, Dave, can be your girlfriend", would I really be a weirdo sex pest like you're making out? Or would I just be someone having a joke on the internet?
That's fair, but there's also the context of some very aggressive "I can unstraighten you" peeps on the fediverse. Mostly femboys and trans women. They're all over blahaj.
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Same energy as a straight dude trying to 'fix' a lesbian.
This is what Arlo's legs actually look like.
just below the camera it just instantly cuts to full-sized human legs wearing thigh-highs, mercifully the transition is hidden by the miniskirt
They are pretty good at hiding in my area.
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Someone is being too picky...
You only date females? Wow that's a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s
I'll settle for a ai driven robot girlfriend at this point.
Those requirements disclude many other options. You may want to reconsider.
@Deceptichum@kbin.social knows how I feel about girlfriends.
Rofl this is the 3rd time I've seen you two snipe at each other, it's petty as hell and I love it
Why? What do they know? :o
Girlfriends have a poor ROI. No serious financial advisor would recommend having a girlfriend in your portfolio.
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