Jhogenbaum

I'd guess that the client was one of those people in the chain (probably the contractor) who "had a cool idea"

That works !

Great meme template.

Ha! I'm So glad you're that guy. Remind me what was the warcraft 2 phrase was for invincibility. I just remember as a kid I got so good as typing those cheats phrases (that I obv DONT remember very well now) that my fingers would fly over the keys and hit enter and I realized I could type fast

Power overwhelming ... Glittering treasures.

Warcraft 2

Insert murder cats graphic from oatmeal

The Rotisserie chicken I just bought was cheaper than a dozen eggs. This raises a bunch of questions in my mind, and, to answer my first question - yes, cooking the chicken does prevent the spread of bird flu...

I appreciate that the author both adds texture/nuance AND firmly denounces him. I like the depth to that.

...the Republic of Ireland? ...

I agree with your comment, but he's here to give you what you wanted: scary and unsettling. This is the dude who understood the assignment.

I hadn't had "the talk" and assembled my own understanding about marriage = "the ability to touch each other's private parts."

I remember thinking, at the age of probably 8 or 10ish, that a bride and a groom, after they were married, in their fancy full wedding outfits would stand on either side of the sink (specifically in my house's upstairs crappy bathroom with mildewy tile) and expose themselves to each other, and then the bride would reach across the sink and "tag" touch the groom's crotch and then pull her dress up, and... at that point I didn't really understand what she would "have" under her wedding dress, but I did assume the groom would reach over and basically "tag you're it" style touch her, at which point the act would conclude.

I didn't have a name for this act, but I was pretty sure this is what adults all did immediately after marriage, one time only. I didn't associate it with babies or anything, more a rite of passage.

Am I doing the math right? That like 27k a day?