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Behavior like this is corrected by people letting you know that it's not okay. If you let it slide it will continue. I'm not saying you need to jump down her throat or whatever, but her parents have clearly failed to correct it (and probably encourage it). So your choice is to either accept it and defend her to everyone she alienates or to politely suggest that it's not okay and if she's not willing to change that you don't want to be around people who act like that. This shit only flies because no one has imposed consequences for this hateful behavior. I don't care how mentally developed she is, anyone can understand that hating others for who they are is bad.