Quick definition for those who don't know: Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behavior and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs.
Story time! Please read this in it's entirety as there is important context as well as an actual point.
I have been spending some time with the in-laws over the past couple of weeks, because reasons. They are an immigrant family, but have been in the US since the tail end of the Vietnam war. All hold US citizenship and it's a large family.
Politics has cone up occasionally, but for the most part, we tend to steer away from those discussions when we mistakenly bring them up in conversation. Strangely enough, some are actually Trump supporters but I wouldn't go so far as to say anyone is full-blown "MAGA" or anything. I would describe the support as mild and truly ignorant of broader level politics.
So, there was some discussion about how immigrants needed to be kicked out of the US and there was support for mass deportations. Another conversation was about how "everyone"abused food stamps and welfare, but within about 10 mins, the discussion flipped to what products another person in the family could buy with their EBT card. Medicare and Medicaid is also a waste of the countries money, but then later there was a discussion about how to use those benefits for another family member.
Politics aside, cognitive dissonance is a bitch to deal with, especially when it's coupled with anecdotal evidence that may not even be real. I suspect that any experience with other "immigrants" I heard over the last couple of weeks are likely the result of a single, heavily biased experience coupled with gossip. (The gossip may create false memories of a situation the person believes is true. I think there is a special name for that.)
Telling a person bluntly that they are wrong is usually counter productive. Calling out the contradictions in beliefs can also be strangely unproductive as well. When a valid argument is made and a person realizes they can't resolve a conflicting belief, the tendency seems to be to fall back on a generic phrase like, "Well, I don't fully understand it, but that person must know what they are doing.", or something similar.
Provided that you actually give a shit, how do you go about cracking the shell of someone that has fallen victim to this kind of thing?
let them do what they want, if they ask your opinion be honest
And I would normally agree with that approach especially if I had nothing to do with them ever again.
In this situation and as it relates to family, letting this go unchecked is a missed opportunity for a person to learn how this behavior is super weird. To say I haven't fallen victim to cognitive dissonance would be a lie. However, I learned how to avoid it and resolve conflicts in my own beliefs over time. (Given the nature of this problem, I don't believe anyone could ever be truly immune to it either.)
Still though, 99.9% of the time your advice is spot-on.
you gottta connect with them emotionally, without talking politics for anything to work
I like the self-awareness of the first half, but I think the second half is likely bullshit. Unless you've become a being of total rational thought and zero emotion, I don't think it is possible.
The last sentence (after your quote ends) was meant to imply that that nobody, even me, is immune to this problem. Without a doubt, I am human and I have my own issues.
Also, anytime I have encountered any issue like this on my own, it has always taken time to resolve as it can be super complicated. Right now, even though I have been sober for a few years, I am still dealing with many false assumptions and beliefs that stemmed from my years of alcoholism so believe me when I say that the mind of an addict is filled with some twisted realities.
Admittedly, rational thought is a relatively new concept to me.
Fair enough.
My personal experience is that we're often unaware of the contradictions until something external happens. It might be someone pointing it out or just a passing comment in an overheard conversation. Something needs to jostle the noggin.
That's why I said what I did. You can't fix what you're oblivious too. However once you are aware, you have the power to choose to do something about it. Sounds like you exercised that power. Good for you.