this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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125
What would you do to help a terminally online person? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I have a couple friends like this. Live with their moms, over 25, never had a job or anything. Only plays games. I feel so bad for them because they don't think they are smart but they definitely are, they just dont spend their time wisely.

Im not judging. That life sounds great when youre young. But I dont want them to wake up at 35 and be even more depressed because they've never done anything in life.

It would be well and good if they were happy like this but they definitely aren't. Im just not sure how someone like that could even integrate into society. I give them advice here and there and sometimes talk about jobs with them, but they are also self proclaimed "lazy" and never really branch out to try new things. I try to send them links to code camps and stuff like that i think they'll enjoy, but they dont do it. I've offered to hang out with them when im their town (we've been friends for years and know each other very well so this isnt weird) but they cant drive either which makes ir hard.

I already know most replies wil be "ITS FINE TO HAVE A BORING LIFE LEAVE THEM ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO "SAVE" THEM" but a boring life is different than a healthy life, imo.

Edit: i knew there'd be a lot of misinterpretation and people self reflecting on their own lives as a result of this post. Regardless, I am glad for the discussion. Thank you to those of you who had constructive comments instead of outright attacks.

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[–] chloroken@lemmy.ml 1 points 6 days ago (2 children)

"I'm not judging." Yeah, you are.

You're judging your friends and looking down on them. What if they look down on you for some other reason? Would you appreciate them scheming how to "get through to you" and posting threads on Lemmy that paint you as pathetic?

If you want to be a good friend, stop thinking you're better than others. Accept folks for who they are.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago

Accept folks for who they are.

If a friend is unhappy, a good friend would want them to be happy, right?

If a friend sees someone on a path towards inevitable self-destruction, a good friend would want to try to help a friend steer clear of that.

Yes,. sometimes people may be misguided or mistaken about others who need help. But it seems like OP's heart is in the right place.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

I never stated I was better. I even said a boring life is completely fine and healthy if you're happy. This person is unhappy and I was merely stating they are stuck in a rut of mever doing anything but gaming.

They're constantly very negative as well. Thats how inknow their situation doesn't make them happy.