Starting to remember the good reasons why you DIDN'T like something in the past and trusting your past judgment.
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You wash all your dinner dishes before you go to bed.
You are done with the wonders and joys of life, and just want to work the rest away until you are dead.
When people offer you opportunities, you reject them, knowing full well you can't afford such attempts.
Safety is all that matters.
If this is the case I hope I never become an adult
It’s probably a possibility, but it’s definitely not the inevitable outcome. If possible, find a well paying job that you find fulfilling and rewarding. I realize how difficult this is for most people though, (because it took me decades to find one), and that makes me sad.
Being able to just go and buy coconut bread without having to ask my parents and them telling me: "Only if you put it on your bread"
You start to wonder, “when am I going to feel like an adult?”
When I got a well-paying job, earning me about 10 times as much as I did while working as a teaching assistant at uni. I realized I could afford more than renting a student apartment and cheap food. Buying furniture, an apartment, having kids, tech toys. A car.
Makes me feel independent and in control of my life, I guess.
Being excited for a dump truck of free mulch
The wiry black hair that grows halfway up the length of my penis for some reason
How does that means that you're an adult? You arrange furniture based on a lot of factors.
Be quiet
Pfft no.
For me it was the moment I bought my first lawnmower.
Not as important as what has already been said but actually making a call when you really need something done. You'd be impressed how much more quickly your problems can get fixed when you talk to a human being.
Owning a proper lawn-momer like the one my dad had. A proper petrol, cylinder mower like this one:
I bought a refurbished on from eBay. Sadly my lawn is too shitty and bumpy to use it, so I just use a Honda IZY which does a perfectly good job but it's not like the one my dad had.