this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I didn't think he would really do it.

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[–] infinitevalence@discuss.online 13 points 1 week ago

He thought it was the seat of Catholic power and was driven to a frenzy.

[–] theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Given the conservative drift of major institutions over the past year or so whoever they pick for the new Pope is probably less likely to excommunicate him

[–] ShittyBeatlesFCPres@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We’ll see how it goes but Francis chose a supermajority of the current Cardinals. With the exception of Cardinal Pizzaballa, I don’t know any of their names, much less their views.

Cardinal Pizzaballa

That cannot be his real name.

Looks it up

Huh, TIL.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

JD got over excited by how the pontiff choose to couch his words.

[–] Pronell@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't know the why but the first thing I said when I found out was "Polonium".

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[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 week ago

Because he's evil. And the pope publicly gave him a lecture. Made him look smaller than he already did.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

killed him to further the prophecy that this is the end times.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 10 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Because the pope deadnamed him.

James Donald Bowman is a massive cuck and deserves to be reminded off his biological father for as long as people in the USA can't choose which gender they prefer.

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[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago

If you're in the vatican, what else is there to do?

[–] painfulasterisk1@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago

He spoke Spanish

[–] Flemmy@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The flu of America*

Tap for spoiler*Formerly known as influenza or Spanish Flu.

[–] 0x01@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

Because he didn't say "thank you" clearly

Couldn't hear the safe word through the ball gag.

[–] Auli@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago

I mean I don't think I know Vance killed him. See Trump can make stuff up why can't we.

[–] kometes@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Fancy papal couches that were unfuckable.

[–] asg101@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago

The pope told JD that no one in the tRump regime, or any other self-proclaimed christian in the USA was anything near being a christian. Per Matthew 25:40-45

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Being anywhere in Trump's orbit speeds up your trajectory towards death like Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan. Donald Trump is, essentially, a biological version of "The Machine" from The Princess Bride pushed to 50.

Since the pope was only secondarily contaminated, the process was slower, but he was already so close to death as it is.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago
[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago

I THOUGHT this was FAKE NEWS but I'm seeing it All Over Facebook so it MUST be True that JD Vance KILLED the Pope!

-Republicans who Do Their Own Research and STILL Love Trump!

[–] RabbitBBQ@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

So a conclave power struggle is set off behind the scenes to try to install Cardinal Burke so that they have one less institution to get in the way

[–] Bongles@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Everyone here seems to be in on something that I've missed.

Edit: I read a reuters article, I see he met with JD yesterday.

Well the Pope ghosted JD, so JD obviously ghosted the Pope.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 6 points 1 week ago

Truth is, he wasn't trying to. Vance wanted to show off his zombie Jesus costume, but it turned out to be a killer costume!

(I just wanted to throw something in that isn't the same jokes everyone else is making)

[–] nothingcorporate@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

What's a Nazi's favorite color smoke?

White smoke.

(For all y'all non Catholics, the vatican has white smoke to signal when they elect a new pope...and ya know...JD Vance is a nazi.)

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's all that white on white, he kinda looked like a couch. He wasn't trying to kill him, but the old man was frail and looked too much like a cushion.

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[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

I don't know, but he better have said thanks

[–] octobob@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

JD Vance had FOXDIE

he threatened to release the video of him and cardinal wuerl spit roasting a luxury couch.

[–] Clairvoidance@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Clearly he visited India today to discuss a Hindu Nationalist takeover of America

[–] Bronzebeard@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

The pope wouldn't let him ogle the holy see.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The pope's death was God's plan. God is the murderer. (Again)

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