this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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politics

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They called me and with tears in their eyes said, "Sir, thank you for taking this beautiful call. Sir, you have such a yuge, gargantuan penis so we need to make a deal."

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[–] aramova@infosec.pub 3 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Ok someone needs to tell the failure-in-chief that getting his breakfast McDonalds brought by the underpaid Asian they brought in from his New Jersey golf course doesn't count as Chinese trade talks.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 21 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

So, we know thats not true.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 10 points 12 hours ago

There are at least some 30 million American voters who would believe Trump uncritically.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 26 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Sure donny… are the Chinese diplomats in the room with us right now?

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 12 hours ago

Fucker mistook the Chinese takeout menu for minutes of their last meeting.

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Well they're at least listening in on the signal chat.

[–] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 10 points 15 hours ago

Donnie is full of shit and dementia

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 58 points 21 hours ago (6 children)

We're going to find out he's just been meeting with some random Chinese dude who lives in Ohio.

[–] wildcardology@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

I remember mike pillow enthusiastically taking a live call thinking it was the orange garbage only to find out it's a troll.

[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

With the way things are operating, I'm pretty sure you could get into the White House or Mar-a-Lago easily if a few people rolled up in a rented fancy towncar, suits, suitcase and someone to act as a translator.

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 15 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Or a manager of a china (as in porcelain) shop. "Yeah, I'm the president of China... and fine dining utensils incorporated in Chattanooga Tennessee"

[–] JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 20 points 17 hours ago

Four Seasons......

....

....

....

Total Landscaping. And then, the country elected him again.

[–] Bogus007@lemm.ee 1 points 11 hours ago

Perhaps with an Asian femboy 🤨

[–] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 11 hours ago

They'd just give such a rando some actual position after the fact to save face

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

The illegitimate son of Puyi and rightful Emperor of Ghyna... Or that's just what his business card says.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 8 points 15 hours ago

I'm starting to think that Trump is lying.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 45 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Diplomatic backchannels are an idea that Trump is fundamentally unable to comprehend.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 7 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

China: "We haven't met yet"

China: <backchannels talks so they all get on the same page"

Trump: "China lies, we met this morning when they backchanneled their plans to replace the USD with me and I think it's a fine idea."

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago

"Backchannels? Sounds gay. I'll sign an Executive Order banning it."

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 30 points 22 hours ago

Like I'm gonna believe anything he says. This guy was able to hide his own Easter Eggs from himself.

[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 6 points 17 hours ago

Definitely the most sane and stable

[–] RejZoR@lemmy.ml 18 points 22 hours ago

Trump met his imaginary China diplomats in his imaginary meeting that happened "this morning".

Beijing is like 15 hours ahead of Washington, if meeting was "this morning", the Chinese would be discussing with Trump at like 11 in the evening or even later. I somehow find it hard to believe China could be bothered to discuss with Trump about his dumb shit so late in the day when they could be sleeping or watching a late evening movie with family lol

[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 8 points 20 hours ago

I.e. his covefe boy stopped for lunch at Panda Express

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

They could totally Chinpokomon Trump.

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Dibs on Shoe.

[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 8 points 22 hours ago
[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

Like kids at the kindergarten

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

Had me in the first half, ngl.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Someone gave him a busy box. 👶

[–] blakenong@lemmings.world 1 points 19 hours ago

I hope they get paid.