Ask Lemmy

My dad recently buult a new garden shed in the garden for tools and gardening stuff. He now started refering to the gazebo in the same garden as "the old shed" for some fucking reason. We were doing something that required power and ge asked me to plug in an extension in the shed. I do that and a couple minutes later he berates me and says he meant the old shed. When I asked if he meant the gazebo, he looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. We've had the gazebo for about 15 years now I think and nobody ever called anything but that.

one time when I was little I heard my mum making weird noises in her room. i didn't go check why. the next morning i asked her why were you making weird noises? she said "I was imagining eating Chinese food that was so good"

My relationship with them was already in very thin ice due to repeated trust issues over the years, but what finally sealed it was my coming out to my dad and his response being "it's all because of this woke generation". Coming from someone who I thought had a very left leaning stance, therapy over the following years made me realize just how shitty and homophobic they really were. Turns out I'm probably more bi than gay (also ace), but it still stands.

As they got more and more out there on pre-MAGA conservative media, the unhinged hits just kept on coming. But probably the most unhinged was their belief that "90 percent of Black males are in a gang." Sad.

Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion ... and he calmly said he understood my reasons ... he told me I'd murdered his grandchild.

He was a real winner, my dad.

I was pregnant as the oldest daughter- three month later my sister told us she's pregnant too. My mother (having a boyfriend of my age at that time): "Oh wouldn't it be fun if I get pregnant too now?"

I couldn't believe what I heard (she is an abusive parent, only 2 of her 9 children contact her at all now, the other have gone non-contact)

A few days ago my mom made a "joke" that clearly having good kids skipped a generation right after commenting about how well behaved my kids were.

With my own kids now I've been realizing how many of the "behaviors" my parents would complain about and expect me to improve upon were just normal kid stuff

Reading through this I totally get why the world is the way it is.

Most people are actually really fucking dumb.

I was like always told to respect them before beating me and telling me how much of a dumb, useless piece of shit I am and that I should be thankfull they did not abandone me and decided to put up with such an eyesore.

I guess they never heard that you have to actually earn the respect and now wonder why I won't call them more than once a week.

My parents are good people, but my mom doesn’t know anything about technology. There was an incident where something was wrong with her computer. I had to go over and fix it. She said she couldn’t get the screen to come on no matter how much she moved the mouse.

The mouse was unplugged, cord hanging off behind the desk.

She said the mouse had somehow popped itself out and asked if there was one that couldn’t do that.

My mother used to call me a son of a bitch until I one day replied "I know".

Or

"I don't believe in god because of the things He has done to me, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in Him"

She also talked about her "schizo friend" quite a lot, as if the events were recent, even though there was no chance she had seen the person in over a decade.

We don't speak anymore.

My mother telling me I should not think that she makes any money with me. (Backstory: Was living with her, dad paid ~~alimony~~ child support). I was baffled, because even when I lowkey suspected that, it was not even a relevant thing for our conversation at this time.

A few years later, when I wanted to move out for studying it was suddendly a problem, because she could not make the full payments for her house without the ~~alimony~~ child supprt from my dad. So I stayed.

Some more years down the line I finally wanted to move out, as I had a full time job in sight and wanted to live with my boyfriend. I was in my mid-twenties. Basically the conversation was the same as before, she could not pay for her house without me. She could not answer my question how she thought this would work out. Was she expecting me to live with her until she paid for the house? Because this would be up until my forties, maybe longer. The house is not big enough for two families, so it was never an option for me and my bf to move in. Of course I moved out.

'Gravity is caused by the rotation of the earth'

apparently that's what they taught back when she was a kid

But how even?!

"Dinner's only a couple of hours away. Why don't you wait?"

Because I had just finished a sponsored fast for charity and hadn't eaten for two days.

My dad once said he never hit me as a kid. I was like "bro what world are you living in?"

After my mother passed, I spent more time with my father than before, just because I thought it was the right thing to do (and my siblings really did not care that much). I realized why I did not have a lot if contact before, he us a classic toxic boomer narcissist.

Spending more time with him did not mean that we grieved my mother's loss as a family, it was just him monopolizing the grief and needing an audience wallow in self pity. I had no say in any aspect of the funeral, he did not listen to anything I said, he never even once asked how I was, and when I talked about stuff from my life (because someone else asked), he started talking over me, making the conversation about him again. Classic narcissist parent playbook.

At some point i was fed up, and told him as much, which of course did not go over well. Complete disbelief, he acted as if I had insulted him, yelling, accusations of being ungrateful, all the bells and whistles. Not a single thought that this behaviour might have been wrong. I just left and cut contact. After a week or so he wrote me what I think was meant as an apology. What he "apologized" for was that because of his greatness, he was always the center of attention which of course emphasized my insignificance, which he can see made me feel bad. It was so grotesque that I burst out in manic laughter, my wife was seriously worried.

The good thing about this, it made me slowly unwrap what I now realize is a lot of childhood drama (which I thought was normal), and understand why my siblings basically don't want anything to do with him. Still struggling to take the step to seek professional therapy (which I know I need), but I already feel better starting to understand that how my father treated me was not because I am worthless, but because he was a really bad dad.

There's too many.

Off the top of my head, a fav dark one might be their serious quoting the Bible to me about how any child that isn't respectful or submissive should be killed.

Some fucked interpretation of Deuteronomy about stoning a child in public or something.

My step dad believes that the history of the physical world is as his mother explained it to him 70 years ago.

I remember talking about how the sun is relatively small compared to how big stars can get. Then my dad said “wait, the sun isn’t a star…” He basically thought the sun’s technical term was “a sun” and that stars are actually as tiny as they appear to us in the sky.

"I love you, but I don't always like you"

Cool. Thanks. Feels just amazing.

I don't remember if my parents have said something crazy. Maybe the time mom told me not to stir the tea a certain way because the clanking offended the spirits. Asked her about it years later and said she didn't say that. Lol

"Cults do like to cut off and distance their members from outsiders and their families" In the same email that he was threating to block me for suggesting his quoting of a Nazi might be a bad thing.

Close second: "Trump (married to a woman) is misogynist" but also "I (British), married to a Malay, can't be racist because I'm married to a Malay".

Honourable mention: "I don't like the word 'Islamophobia' or your Newspeak". My guy, Newspeak was famous for doing something to the dictionary, and it wasn't adding words to describe more concepts.

Anyway, he blocked me... Like cultists do. All quotes are paraphrased, I CBA digging through the emails.

Reading this makes me realize how many people had really fucked up childhoods. I feel sorry for all of you, don't give up hope for humanity, and choose (if you can) how to live your own life. There are better people out there.

Basically anything full on Cult of Personality for Trump plus steadily increasing levels of fundamentalism Christianity. Holidays have been getting.......tense to say the least.

• you are pathetic
• you make me want to vomit
• you are disgusting
• you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
• you are sickening
• I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you

Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.

My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.

I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father's hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.

After my step father told me this story he followed it up with "at that moment I should have known and left your mother" 🫠