this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 75 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

My kids have been using cocaine to finish their math homework. It's funny, their grades have gotten worse.

I only code with cocaine now, it's so much faster.

I read a book the other day that was written with cocaine. It was called Maximum Overdrive by Stephen King.

...wait.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Maximum Overdrive is a movie and is based on a short story called Trucks.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If there is one thing I'm angry about, it's that I missed the hundred year window when insane/drugged up people could write some nonsense over a lost weekend and get published for big bucks.

I was born 1-10 decades too late.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can still do it, you just need to get famous first

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[–] paranoia 52 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's important to be wary of misinformation with generative cocaine

There is a serious risk that companies will try to replace workers with cocaine.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 13 points 2 weeks ago

generative cocaine 😂

[–] zerozaku@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

All the big companies in the Silicon Valley are investing hugely into cocaine.

[–] mle86@feddit.org 35 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Lol, reminds me of the good old "cloud to butt" browser extension from way back when cloud was the new shit everyone pushed.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

I was going to say almost the same thing.

When that plug-in came out, I installed it on a rarely used laptop then immediately forgot about it and didn't use the laptop for a while.

Then I pulled out the laptop to research electric cars. For a long time I thought "atomic cat" was just some weird slang for electric cars, since it showed up everywhere.

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

Wow, I completely forgot about that hype train!

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

I've been saying ai is the new cloud buzzword corporate bullshit since the media has been paid off to report endlessly on it. Luckily it wont last.

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmynsfw.com 29 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

There used to be a browser addon called cloud2butt which would replace the word cloud with the word butt. This made discussions about hosting things on someone else's computer rather amusing.

Someone should make an ai to cocaine addon.

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

No longer having to rely on corporate butt solutions for your personal files!

Free trial butt services, with limited up/down speeds then $69/month. For more butt privileges that you can share with your team, upgrade to our $999 yearly ultra fast butt. Comes with personalized on-demand customer care!

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"Cocaine chatbot urges man to commit suicide."

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[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

« My cocaine provider just switched from a free to a subscription model. »

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 7 points 2 weeks ago

That's how they get ya.

[–] fmtx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 weeks ago

🎶She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie, AI🎵

Yeah that doesn't work at all 🤣

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

"It's arguably okay to use cocaine for silly purposes so long as everyone knows you're using it, but cocaine should never replace paid, qualified experts."

[–] cuerdo@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

teenagers are getting companies started using cocaine, while 40 year olds are just using it for fun

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 6 points 2 weeks ago

Middle aged folks are using cocaine for emails and productivity, teenagers are using it as a life coach.

[–] foggianism@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago
[–] moopet@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

My feed is now full of cocaine slop.

[–] ano_ba_to@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 weeks ago

Careful, this might get picked up as training data.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

"Students are increasingly using cocaine to do their homework."

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 2 weeks ago

Pfft, kids these days can't do anything without cocaine.

Oh my good, I should've used cocaine sooner!!! It's so amazing!!!!

[–] Lightfire228@pawb.social 9 points 2 weeks ago

"I'm a vibe coder, which just means i use cocaine to write the code for me"

[–] stopforgettingit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Cocaine is revolutionizing workplace productivity, its transforming daily work routines by our enhancing efficiency.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I "laid off" all my staff to get cocaine!

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 8 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

"I asked cocaine to make me a birthday card for my nephew. It's not as polished as the one I bought in the shop, but the cocaine one was a lot cheaper"

It... may not cover every scenario.

"I refuse to watch that one Argentinian TV show that has a shot made with some cocaine". Better, but bit harsh. Maybe there's some value to it.

"Cocaine is fairly practical to tell me things I can verify at a glance, but I wouldn't trust everything it says". See, that one works worse that the real one.

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[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Just call post=$(sed -e 's/ai/cocaine/g' <<< "$post") in a loop

[–] addie@feddit.uk 11 points 2 weeks ago

That sounds pcocainenful.

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[–] rozodru@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

"I'm a vibe coder, I use cocaine daily. All I have to do is come up with a prompt and let the cocaine do the rest. it's at the point now all my managers insist I use cocaine to meet deadlines."

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can I just replace AI with cocaine?

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think what this exercise demonstrates is that it's entirely feasible, given that you can afford the ~~tokens~~ ~~tokes~~ no that's weed uhh shit let me ask what the drugs think

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Using cocaine comes with a significant energy price tag.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yes I was alive in the '80s I remember.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

It works surprisingly well, turning Snowflame, objectively the most singularly perfect villain ever to come from dc, into a techbro.

[–] MoonRaven@feddit.nl 6 points 2 weeks ago

I do microdose on coccocainene from time to time.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Flip the script.

If you want to hang out, you've gotta take her out, AI

If you want to get down, down on the ground, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

If you got bad news, you want to kick them blues, AI

When your day is done, and you want to run, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

If your day is gone, and you want to ride on, AI

Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

^ The lyrics were wrong, fixed 'em. They were AI results. How's that for irony?

(Yes, I replied to my own comment. For some reason I can no longer edit my own posts.)

I do AI, so I can work longer, so I can earn more, so I can do more AI

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[–] Booboofinget@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie..AI.

I wonder what Clapton will have to say about that.

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[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just be sure not to use a recursive algorithm on that.

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[–] Zapados@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

CocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocERR

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Using cocaine in vibe coding saves me hours of work!

They're gonna replace 50% of lawyers with cocaine in the next 6 months!

[–] jaiden@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Cocaine—The good, the bad, and the scary There is no denying that cocaine has changed our lives. However, some might argue if it’s for the better. A recent survey by Forbes indicated that many Americans still trust humans over cocaine by a large percentage. Those surveyed shared that they think people would do a better job of administering medicine, writing laws, and even choosing gifts, just to name a few.

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