this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] crozilla@lemmy.world 82 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Forgot “Microsoft Word”

[–] Z3k3@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Forgot “Microsoft ~~Word~~ office”

[–] jeeva@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago

I'm sorry, do you mean Microsoft Copilot 365?

gags

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Microsoft Office Suite, it sounds classier

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 15 points 4 days ago

Spreadsheet Architect, Powerpoint Guru, Wordsmith

[–] Kache@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

Classier than listing every program individually?

[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Eliminating orphans is an essential skill in IT.

[–] Gyroplast@pawb.social 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

More essential IT skills to add to your resume:

  • preserving the environment
  • killing zombies
  • managing real-time executions
  • manual flushing of pipes
  • handling mixed signals
[–] marcos@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

manual flushing of pipes

Seriously, pipes should default to unbuffered...

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You mean Copilot. No one uses word manually anymore.

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

Copilot? Write me a terse reply to the highlighted comment.

[–] hark@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Generative AI degenerating skills.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 40 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

This is actually scary. They cant do anything without an internet connection.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

To be fair, programming without internet is just (very) unproductive.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago

For you

I have looked up the productivity differences in working with and without internet for the programming industry. The main finding is that majority of programmers think that the internet boosts their productivity and collaboration.

Needles to say, it seems like your argument is focused on yourself rather than the whole industry.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Tell me you're not a programmer without telling me you're not a programmer.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I got almost 3 decades of writing software for money. I don't need stack chatgpt overflow. I know some standard libraries by heart.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Guess you just "know" all the new stuff coming out?

I programmed for a living before stack overflow, and it was just less effective.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You can download docs once and refer to them pretty much. You can also download dependencies once and read their source code to figure out questions you may have.

Like, sure, I need the internet to download new packages and tools and their documentation and stuff. I will concede this. But after that, I can live off the land.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Sure you can and we all had to live without nice things at a certain time, I had the Nintendo DS & Wii doc in physical text form (because NDA and so I guess), with only a handful of helpful people on the Nintendo forum. But that was invaluable, still remember that guy from Team17 helping me out because the audio was bugged in the console.

I mean we can all motor through it and spend lots of time figuring it out, I actually like that 😁, but having access to the whole worlds shared knowledge is kind of nice too.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Not really. If the internet goes out in our office 100% of our programmers are going home. Doesnt make them bad, the internet is to useful to work without.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago

Yeah I'm kinda helpless if I can't get maven packages or check packages against the CVE database.

[–] sleen@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago

Exactly, it's how technological evolution works. We found a much more effective and productive way to work and live, so why would we revert back to the "old days".

Also doesn't mean people taught to use the internet in its full capacity are inferior - they're just focusing on what is important.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@programming.dev 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

the documentation is literally on Internet. Python standard library, MSDN, posgresql, odbc drivers. Everything is online. are you suggesting you memorised your whole stack, and did you printed out ? Granted * some * of it can be downloaded

[–] urandom@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

I remember when ‚man 3 printf‘ and such was a thing. Good times, those. Then there’s ‚go doc encoding/json‘ as well. I’m sure other languages have some offline docs

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I have a mild existential crisis every time the Internet goes down. I have no idea what's wrong, and I cant use the Internet to find out what's wrong.

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

You should work to become sufficient offline. I have my whole life because I know how fragile it is.

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

ChatGPT Cybersecurity

So you know how to fix all the security holes the AI left in your codebase, right? Right?

[–] QuestionMark@lemmy.ml 29 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

No worries, GPT says my* code is flawless.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Did someone crop off DevOps?

[–] QuestionMark@lemmy.ml 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] drspawndisaster@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Generative AI AND chatGPT. Impressive.

But I know how to code, program, AND write software.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But don’t have a development podcast?

Damn, you're right! I need to let people know that in addition to my other skills, I can also develop applications.

Chatgpt how do I pod my cast

[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

So this whole list is actually

ChatGPT

How to ask ChatGPT how to:

Coding

Computer Science ....

[–] handsoffmydata@lemmy.zip 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

He forgot to list his Minecraft server

[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

Hey, maintaining that server is a 24/7 job after the last update. There are dozens of people depending on me.

[–] int32@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 days ago

wait, just ChatGPT? not llama, gemma, or even gemini or copilot?

[–] paulbg@programming.dev 6 points 4 days ago

majoring in chatgpt💀