somebody brought the pain
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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Violence baguettes violence.
Why modify it? .... a good hard crusty baguette is deadly enough. If you crack it just right, the sharp edges are hard enough to cut open skin and flesh.
Shit, you get one with a good enough crust and it'll club a motherfucker into the ground like a fence post.
A baguette becomes a lethal blunt instrument about 7 seconds after you buy it.
"The food here is..."
THWACK THWACK THWACK
"...weapons-grade."
Take two baguettes. Cut one in half and carve a slot inside of it. Carve the other with a protrusion in the form of a knife to go into the slot. Harden in the oven while using garlic butter with fine herbs to create a razor edge. Sharpen with a whetstone.
Then you can not only stab cops but soften it up in soup and eat the evidence.
mmmmm ... radicalization and violence never sounded so delicious
Cop gets stabbed in the arm .... 'OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN STABBED ... ???? .... ooooo, garlic butter!'
So you can dual wield.
Baguette.
Breaguette knife.
Akimbo
I know a guy that nearly lost its thumb because of a baguette. A piece of the crust stuck under its nail. He didn't paid attention at first, but it begins to become infected and necrotic. Ended up in the hospital for surgery and antibiotics.
Never underestimate the baguette.
The one positive thing you could say about the bread products around him was that they were probably as edible now as they were on the day they were baked. Forged was a better term. Dwarf bread was made as a meal of last resort and also as a weapon
It's a bread knife.
A bread knife must have teeth
They never said it was a good bread knife.
Fair enough have a good day ahead.
Somebody touch my baguette!
Wait til that "assault with a deli weapon" guy hears about this
Add a gun and it's a Bayoguette.
Hon hon hon
stabuette a little with my baguette
I never leave my house without my tactical assault baguette!
the baguette outfit in clair obscur finally makes sense
It always made sense.
Baguette! Haa haarrr grr!
Baguette!
Oh wow, I've never seen a stabaguette before!
Bruchetti
hon hon homicide
Were they riding a bicycle with a basket in front?
That is aggressively French
There were shuriken in the croissants as well
Le pain!
This deserves more upvotes.
Portable Guillotine. I love quick access revolté tools.
Mmm, this one has got quite a sharp taste. I'll take three.
The French have mastered protest and revolution.
Remember this meme: "you mess with Ratatouille, you get Stabatouille".
I love that they gave it a crumb as well.
"Une graine dans le bocal piment" ?
the photo was taken at the shop Chaise Longue, a chain which specialises in humorous and original collections of household items and gifts. The product, called “Baguette knife” can be seen on the Chaise Longue website.
A price label is clearly visible next to the baguette in one of the pictures shared on social media saying “Une graine dans le bocal piment” (“A seed in the jar – chilli”), which is the name of a Chaise Longue product. It is a jar of chilli seeds, which is part of a range of different types of seeds in jars.
Merci pour Le fact-check
Picnic-ready, self-contained baguette. Comes with a way to cut it. The other end (off camera) contains foil-wrapped cheese wedges.
Pain vraiment complet.
That’s sure to get a rise outta the police
plausible deniability: I was just cutting a baguette (to be read in French accent)