Ask Lemmy

I worked in pediatric urology so I'll give you their perspective first. The urologist's assistant said the thing to do is assess honestly whether you'll keep up with your child's hygiene, if you are comfortable ensuring they'll clean their foreskin as they grow up. My friend says she really had to stand over her son and tell him to wash his penis again and again. Boys are not the best at hygiene sometimes, so as long as you are comfortable ensuring he does so, don't circumcise. If you don't think you'll be comfortable with that, be realistic, because boys get what's called phimosis where the foreskin becomes stuck and doesn't retract, and while there's a cream called betnovate you can apply to relieve this, if it becomes chronic and there's scarring, having circumcision as an older child is much more of an ordeal, as they have to go under general anesthesia. These are the pros and cons.

I think circumcision is a bad idea and don't recommend it myself because I've heard a baby crying during one personally and that's horrifying, but this is what the medical reality of it is, so be honest with yourself about what you can do as a parent. It's honestly a terrible thing for them to go through without anesthesia as well. Bullying be damned, anyone who is offended by a normal penis isn't worth your time anyway.

Oh god no.

Grew up in the US. Heard one girl mention it was gross (she didn’t see mine) and one see it for the first time as was more curious. Never bullied but I also wasn’t swinging my dick out in the open.

Live in Europe now where the script would very much be flipped.

So thankful my parents didn’t mutilate me.

No, why would I wish to be mutilated?

Ok, so I'm a 38 year old uncircumcised Canadian male and on this issue, I have two opinions:

1.) Circumcision for moral, traditional, covenantial, or social cohesion reasons is child genital mutilation. Full stop, no second guesses...

2.) I have a larger-ish penis with a proportionally smaller frenulum and tighter foreskin. I am not bragging about size, I wish I was smaller because, when I get very aroused it can be quite painful. The foreskin frenulum pulls right against the tip of my penis and bends it down. If I were to excuse the frenulum and loosen my foreskin, I can imagine having sex when I am very erect would feel much better. This would be great because right now it feels like I'm trying to fuck with reigns on.

I have been exploring the idea of the loosening surgery, but obviously this is my choice, for aesthetic and pain management reasons.

The child has no choice, it's abuse. I have a choice, it's a medical procedure.

Fuck. No.

I am grateful every single goddamn day that my mum took a stand against my dad's very Catholic parents when it came to circumcising me. She wasn't able to with my older brother, in part because of how wrecked she was from a 48hr+ labour. With him it was also "oh he'll feel weird if he doesn't match his father though" which,,, just,,, ooft 🙄

No, of course not. That’s weird.

I have never met anyone circumcised before, nor even heard of one outside of celebrities and internet randoms like this.

So the thing about some being grossed out is purely cultural and not a universal thing. I find it odd that some would be grossed out about a thing like that, but if you choose to remain within that culture, it’s probably sensible to account for that. But I would bet it’s really not a big deal for anyone despite what they say. There are more important things going on whenever people end up in a situation where that comes up. I wouldn’t worry about that, but the again I don’t know your culture, maybe it is a big deal.

For me personally, I really like my “hood” so to say. Keeps the senses more heightened there when the delicate part does not chafe around and touch everything all the time. On top of that, I find much more hygienic to have a natural “shield” that is easy to clean and keep regulated in terms of pH and all. No doubt it would be more problematic in hot climates where there might be more sweating and stuff, that would require more intense and frequent upkeep, but here in the global North, I think it would be disadvantageous not to have the natural luxury.

Not only would I not want a circumsization, I find it actively harmful to myself and my personal health. I also find the practice extremely off-putting and horrifying, but then again all cultures come with their own “barbaric” traditions so to say, so I’m not about to yuck anyone’s yum. You do you, I say, live your best life.

It does come with some required upkeep and work, but so do our teeth. If you maintain them, they’re going to be healthy and beneficial overall. No need to cut them off in my opinion, just because it’s extra work. But that’s not the justification for the cut, so I also don’t mean to sound patronizing here. Just my view on it.

If society jumped off a bridge, would you also?

American and uncircumcised here. Definitely don't do it. The only reason it should ever be done is a case of phimosis so bad it can't be fixed any other way.

Never ever regretted being uncircumcised. In fact, I regularly feel especially grateful to my parents for not getting me circumcised. If it were socially acceptable, I'd talk to more people about it and why it's great not being circumsized. I would get me parents a "Thanks for not mutilating me as a baby" thank you cake.

No. It's child mutilation. Just. No.

wtf why do you mutilate your child?

I’m American and circumcised. I do not wish to be different than I am because I don’t know anything else. That said, it is no longer the cultural default choice here at all. I’m upset that you feel it is. Were I to have a male child I would 110% NOT mutilate that child. There is no reason or excuse to justify doing this. Don’t mutilate your kid. Anyone who teases or bullies other people is the one with the problem, and you should absolutely not cut off part of your son’s body on the off-chance that might alleviate one vector of inbound bullying. As others have said, bullies will find a way. Please do not do this.

No.

Forskin ins there for a reason. It's protecting the head of the penis. Cutting it off is just a poor way of not having to deal with the problems if you don't wash it properly.

I'm 42 and uncircumcised, born and raised in America. My entire life the total sum of what it's amounted to from locker rooms to relationships is pretty close to "huh, ok then". I can't promise it will be the same for your son but it's been a total non-issue in my life.

GenX USAmerican here. I felt 'different' as a kid when we had to shower for gym class. Besides that, it's been fine. Teach your son proper hygiene and it will be okay. I have never had a negative sexual encounter about it, or been otherwise teased by women. Circumcision is so much less common here than it used to be.

I'm Chinese-American, male, was born in mainland China, immigrated to the US. Family is not really religious, I didn't get mutilated, and no I do not want to get mutilated.

I was actually shocked when I learn that Americans, particularly Christians, do this shit. WTF. I also learned that some tribes around the world also do (or used to do) this. Felt sick just hearing that word.

(Edit: To be clear, I mean no offense to my fellow Americans, I like this country for the most part, but forcing religion on kids and government corruption are probably two of the biggest thing I hate)

Learning about "bloodletting", and "witchhunt" made me hate previous eras.

And when I learned about this thing called "lobotomy", I just... idk kinda have a "new fear unlocked" moment for me...

...humans are so fucked up.

Please don't mutilate your children. We're supposed be advanced civillizations (I'm talking about humanity as a whole), how are being still doing outdated "bloodletting"-type of stuff?

(Only exception would be if its medically necessary, and a doctor, without being influenced by religion, recommended it)

I'm not a parent but I think in general unnecessary cosmetic surgery should be left up to the individual especially when it is related to genitals. I understand wanting to help them conform to norms to try to give them an easier life and there are some surgeries I think make sense like a cleft palate or an infant with burns, but if it's not necessary you're taking away their bodily autonomy and I think that's a very important line morally. You need to determine if you think it's necessary or unnecessary, and if the discomfort of a possible later in life surgery pushed it past the moral boundary or not.

Genital mutilation is a caveman practice...

American Penis owner here, uncircumcised. So fun and no issues.

I'm American and not circumcised, my wife and I chose not to circumcise our son because there really isn't anything to gain from it. In my mind it's no different than the removal of the hood from around a womans clitoris, it would cause a lot of pain and discomfort until the area is more "desensitized" by constant overstimulation. As someone that has only ever had a penis, and never a circumcised one, it's all just speculation on my part.

1. If you aren't Jewish, what reason do you have to do it to an infant that can't possibly wait until they're old enough to decide for themselves?

2. Would you be struggling with the same decision to surgically alter an infant's genitals if we were talking about your daughter instead of your son?

Never! Just wash your penises with soap, it's not that hard!

As someone who's circumcised, I think it's a practice we should leave behind. Buddy getting bullied was more about victimization than circumcision. Likewise any future partner that has that as a deal breaker either way is a bullet dodged.

That being said, I think some people overplay the victim card on this one. I think some people use it as a scapegoat to avoid acknowledging other issues like porn addiction, intimacy issues, and sexual incompatibility within relationships.

Than there's the people who try to conflate a hospital performed medical procedure with Female Genital Mutilation from like rural Africa or India.

AFAIC if your biggest problem in life is that you're circumcised... shut the fuck up? Or complain about something more important than your own dick.

TLDR: Don't do it.

What. The. Fuck.

As a circumcised male, please don't. Like countless others have said, it's a bizarre cultural practice that leads to a desensitized tip, and most of the world thinks it's fucked up. There's literally no benefits.

The rates are falling in America so you son probably won't be the only kid with a foreskin. That said do remember there is a small chance of death from blood loss. No really that happens a few times a year.

No why would I want to mutilate my dick

I'm an intact American man.I have never wished I was circumcised.

I haven't ever been bullied for it. If I was, I think I'd first accusing the bully of being homosexual for taking an interest as loud as I could. Start calling him Gaylord Cockstarer in mixed company. Find out what hobbies his dad has, start doing that hobby, befriend his dad, tell him this story, see if you can get his dad to start calling him Gaylord Cockstarer.

Women who are grossed out...I've had a few hesitate to give me oral, but were willing to try. One, in her own words, wanted to wait until next time so she could "look up how to handle one of these." And she did, too. To the women who would be disgusted at my intact anatomy, I have one question: What part of your body am I allowed to demand you slice off? Kind of a monstrous thing to think about someone, isn't it? Why haven't you cut that part of your body off? If that's what she thinks of men, she can never deserve any dick.

Wtf why. I only learnt americans are circumcized from online forums, keep your retarded habits to yourself guys

My 2¢: don't

I was circumcised at birth by my parents, and it's a source of frustration I have with them. Since it's irreversible, there's nothing I can do about it though.

Personally, I think circumcised penises look unnatural and weird.

I'll trade fore some skin

I'm genuinely upset about not getting a say in the matter.

When a person gets circumcised they lose a ton of sensitivity and feeling from their dick, and it permanently degrades the quality of any sexual gratification they will have in their life.

And that's not even touching on how fucked up it is to mutilate a child's genitals for a religon that they can't even consent to.

If you want your child to resent you for mutilating them with unnecessary surgery without their consent, go for it. If you want to be a good parent, don’t.

British penis owner here. Cirumcision is rare in this country and as far as I know the rest of the world. I imagine most British people would find it strange, the inverse of your friend's experience. My instinct is to say don't perform an unnecessary medical procedure on your child and let them decide as an adult. You can't put a foreskin back on. But I sympathise with the cultural aspect of it you're having to contend with in the USA.

Side note: I once considered getting circumcised. I was in a BDSM relationship. My penis was consensually "hers" and she liked it after being with a Jewish guy. If it had become a long term relationship I might have done it.

I agreed to do it for my first son.

the screaming broke me. I can still hear his cries.

my second son, they didn't even ask and just did it. I was furious.

don't do it.

Just don't circumcize your kid. I am and didn't do it for my kid, and even if he has issues, it's his choice to make the body mod if it's wanted. Kids will always have some kind of issue or get made fun of for something, no reason to snip the tip of his penis off unless it's needed imo.