Ask Lemmy

I stole a snickers bar when I was like 5. My mom knew before I got home. She kicked my ass when I got home.

Sweets, then upgraded to lighters

I stole a pen once, by accident

I think it was something like $30 out of my brother's wallet. Boy did I get in trouble for that one. In my defense, he had just left it lying on top of his bed's side table! You can't expect a five year old to not steal $30 out of a wallet just lying on a side table in a room with a closed door!

I don't even know what I spent it on, thinking back. Probably those little styrofoam airplanes you could put together from the little store out in the country that was nearby.

The first thing was probably a set of earrings when I was a really little guy. I handed them to my mom when we got home and she was shocked at what a smooth swipe I pulled and we immediately went back to return them. So much for my thoughtful gift! Hahaha.

I also recall this thing at my very conserva-religious elementary school, where people set up a little market selling things as gifts and such. I was given some money to go buy presents for people, but nobody told me how to pay for anything, and I assumed it was like a big box store where you pay at the end.

So here I am like, what, 6 or 7 maybe? Going from table to table and just yoinking knick-knacks into my little bag. Nobody stopped me or otherwise corrected me. I still don't see anywhere to "check out"! I end up just leaving, basically.

Cut to me waiting in the lunch line and just getting straight up shaken down and accosted for cash by some authoritarian staff types. I just handed them the bag of spending money I'd been supplied with and I don't really remember what happened after that. Looking back though, those people were very mean to a confused child under 10, treating me like some deliberate criminal mastermind of petty-thievery lol.

Idk if it was the first but I stole a bunch of pens from one of my teachers after i found out she was fired.

Kisses?

I was like 7 and wanted some disks for a Bionicle, but I didn't want to hold onto it the entire time while looking at toys. So I put it in my pocket... and forgot about it.

Cannot recall the first thing, but I at least know my brother got a PSP the one and only time he ever stole money from my parents. Back when those were still relevant.

Edit:

Thinking about it, probably some time off my parents life from before I was even born. Doctors did variously tests and I was supposed to be the special needs child of the family. Worst I got was a case of high functioning autism. They definitely would have taken on the challenge of raising me, but I can almost guarantee they worried enough about me that I took some time off their lives.

My moms heart when I was born.

There was a candy machine at my local grocery store's front lobby, and when I was around 8-9, my friend and I noticed that the top of the machine wasn't attached properly. We removed the top and filled our pockets with candy. Unfortunately, I told my brother about it who told my parents who made me go apologise to the store owner

The joy and boredom of growing up in a small town